


The Good Times Are Killing Me

by Anonymous_Ostrich



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Developing Relationship, Fluff and Angst, I'll be adding tags as I go, Jealousy, M/M, MacCready's POV, Main story spoilers, Recreational Drug Use, fluff and comfort, it might evolve into a more consistent plot later, its going to start off very episodic, pansexual sole survivor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-01
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-05-04 07:09:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5325164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anonymous_Ostrich/pseuds/Anonymous_Ostrich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You point and I'll shoot. Pretty simple arrangement." Except it wasn't simple. Nothing was simple where the vault-dweller was concerned. Of that - and <i>only</i> that - MacCready was absolutely certain. That, and he should have held out for 250 caps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Got dirt, got air, got water

He'd gotten him down to 200 caps. MacCready wasn't really in any position to haggle, though in retrospect maybe he should have been more forceful. He just really needed the caps, and the vault-dweller had a pocket absolutely bulging with them.

Currently, he was wondering if the caps were worth it.

"We're seriously going in there?" MacCready heard himself ask, staring down the crumbling urban buildings and makeshift guard towers through his rifle's scope.

"Yuuuup," the vaultie answered, doing the same but with an annoyingly carefree smile.

"And you're not the least bit concerned that we're hopelessly outnumbered by super mutants? Like, the big, green, brainless kind?"

"Not really," Sebastian said flippantly, cocking his pistol and mounting it on his hip. "I hired you for a reason, MacCready. You snipe from up here, me and Nick flank them from both sides. Pick 'em off so we don't get overwhelmed."

"Reason?" MacCready asked, sighing.

"Distress signal I picked up a couple miles back leads to this base. Super mutants probably nabbed someone for some reason or another, either that or some poor schmuck is stuck in an unsavory position and needs some assistance. Either way, I'm sure either the aforementioned or their relatives will pay plenty of caps for their rescue." Sebastian finished checking his ammunition and grenades as he spoke, and then flashed MacCready a charming smile and an arched brow. "Good enough reason?"

"I suppose caps are always a good enough reason," MacCready conceded.

The trench coat clad synth to Sebastian's right pulled a laser rifle from his belt, his unnerving LED stare landing on the vault-dweller with a disapproving glare. "Sometimes the depth of your nobility frightens me, Seb."

"It's a _rescue_!" Sebastian exclaimed in surprise. "I thought you would have been happy, Nick!"

"I'll be happy as soon as we're out of here," the synth answered, adjusting his folded fedora. "I'll lecture you about basic human integrity and ulterior motives later, when we're in the clear."

" _Niccckkk_ ," Sebastian groaned childishly, tilting his head back.

"Dammit Seb, quit it," Nick chided, rolling his glowing ember eyes. "We're wasting time. _Some_ of us - that's me, by the way - would actually like to get on with things before our Mr. or Mrs. Distress Signal kicks the bucket."

Sebastian's displeased demeanor melted, replaced with an obnoxiously handsome grin. It was alarming how fluidly he could do that. "Alright, fine. Let's get to it." His grey eyes shifted to MacCready, locking onto his with purpose. "You ready?"

His first job under the vault-dweller's hire. MacCready supposed it could be worse.

"You point and I'll shoot. Pretty simple arrangement."

.

.

.

Squirrel was chewy as hell. When cooked, it was just as chewy, but with an added crunch. Food was food though, and Sebastian had just enough squirrel for the two of them, though why MacCready was the one cooking it over the mutant's barrel fire was a mystery.

"Found another clean bed, _finally_ ," Sebastian said, dragging a tan sleeping bag behind him and dropping it next to the first. "Pretty sure it's the only other bed that isn't covered in blood, vomit or… other things. Super mutants are fucking gross. Like, do they even…?" MacCready turned just in time to see Sebastian jerking his hand in the air near his pelvis. "Can you imagine?"

"New topic, please," Nick said, sitting down in a broken chair in the corner of the rickety loft. "How 'bout we discuss the fact that we were too late to save Mr. Distress Signal? Looks like your plan for caps tanked miserably."

"Ehh, you win some you lose some. Super mutants had some good stuff, though, so it wasn't a complete loss."

MacCready dropped the last of the squirrel bits onto a dirty tray they'd found when snooping around the camp and offered the tray to Sebastian. The vaultie grabbed a crispy chunk and cursed, tossing it several times in the air, catching it every time fleetingly between his fingers.

"Fuck, hot!"

"Did you expect it to be… _not_ hot?" MacCready asked with an amused smile.

Sebastian popped the meat into his mouth, his cheeks puffing as he blew air through his lips in a desperate attempt to cool it off. A moment later he appeared to swallow it, forgoing chewing entirely.

Nick shook his head. "At any rate, we found a place to hunker down for the night. Diamond City is still about a day's trek away, so I'd advise you two get as much sleep as you can. I'll wake you up at dawn."

Plopping down on one of the clean sleeping bags, Sebastian stretched his arms over his head and yawned hugely. "Kay. Thanks, babe."

"Lay off the babe," Nick snapped warningly.

MacCready sat cross-legged on his own bed, setting the tray of mildly singed squirrel between the bags. "So… You're just gonna sit there all night? While we sleep?"

"I won't be _staring_ at you all night if that's what you're worried about, MacCready," Nick answered. "I have a sort of sentry-mode I can activate when I see fit. I usually don't see the need. If I'm back at the office, my time can be better spent pouring over files or working on a case. Out here, though, I'm likely to be bored out of my metal skull."

Sebastian sighed dreamily, flopping onto his back. "Nick, you're so fucking _cool_. Every time you say something robot-y like that, I fall more in love with you, I swear."

" _Quit it_ ," Nick ordered stiffly, though his synthetic voice was tinged with amusement. Or was that fondness? It was difficult to gauge the relationship between these two. Most of the time it seemed that the synth was merely putting up with Sebastian, as though _he_ were the one contracted to follow and defend. If one looked closer, however, it was apparent that their banter was proof of a deeper camaraderie. Like caring siblings who got on each other's nerves. A strange comparison considering one of them was made of metal and silicone.

Lost in his thoughts, MacCready almost didn't notice when Sebastian tossed him a can of purified water. He caught it much more clumsily than he would have liked. "Thanks."

"Mmhm," Sebastian rolled onto his side, closing his eyes. "You were good out there tonight. 200 caps well spent, I'd say."

MacCready wasn't sure how to answer such a blunt monetisation of his person. He chose the path of confidence. "There's more where that came from, boss."

.

.

.

MacCready wasn't a sound sleeper by any means. His dreams were usually messy and upsetting and every sound in the waking world tended to rouse him just enough to ensure he never got a full two hours of sleep at a time. Sleep was usually the least of his troubles, so it didn't really bother him.

This morning, a pair of hushed voices woke him, and instead of drifting back to sleep, his senses suddenly became sharp as broken glass. It was the feeling one got when they felt sure they were being talked about.

"-better judgement, I mean _think_ about it, Seb. The Gunners are a dangerous bunch. If he ran with them, there's a good chance we'll be running into 'em at some point."

"Maybe," came Sebastian's flippant reply. He sounded distracted, and MacCready thought he could hear the distinct sound of gun parts being tinkered with. "We'll take them out just like we took out those super mutants. No problems."

He heard Nick sigh. "I wish you'd take this a little more seriously. I'm worried we'll have a bullet in _our_ backs, if you catch my meaning."

Sebastian laughed through his nose. "Nah, he's good," he answered. "I like the look of him. He stays for now."

MacCready wasn't sure how to feel. On the one hand, he felt like he was being appraised, and it made him feel oddly cheap. Contrariwise, the vault-dweller seemed to trust him. Either that or he didn't care one way or another. It may have been the latter, but he still appreciated being vouched for. It didn't surprise him that the synth was suspicious. He didn't particularly hold it against him, either. The Gunners were notorious, and if he'd had any hopes of keeping his previous involvement with them quiet, his hopes were squashed the moment Sebastian walked in on his chat with Winlock and Barnes. The fact that he'd been hired despite it surprised him more than the fact that the vault-dweller had a gumshoe synth companion.

He waited ten more minutes before pretending to wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how long this is going to be, but I'm stuck in MacCready Hell right now and I just need to purge it from my system by writing many short, stupid chapters. Please come be MacCready trash with me.


	2. Have one, have twenty more "one mores"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MacCready just wants a damn cigarette.

Hancock liked chems. It wouldn't have bothered MacCready if it weren't for the fact that Sebastian also liked chems, and when the two of them were together they did more chems than was entirely necessary.

MacCready wasn't a hypocrite. He'd experimented, naturally, but he'd made a promise to clean himself up and be a better man. Chems weren't as hard to give up as a good cigarette, which he could still imagine nestled between his lips, strong taste on his tongue, smooth smoke wafting down his throat. Occasionally he had a moment of weakness and lit one up, but he never finished a single one. Somehow leaving it short justified his slip-up, as if saying 'if I was still addicted, I would have smoked the whole thing'. It was a happy denial, but at least he wasn't high as a kite.

Speaking of smoke, the ceiling of The Third Rail was lousy with it, pooled into delicious little pockets of grey that reminded MacCready of how badly he could use a cigarette right about now.

"MacCready, don't be shy," Hancock tapped a gnarled knuckle against a shot of jet on the coffee table that was centered between a couch and two armchairs, MacCready occupying one of the chairs. "Have some fun. No one'll bother us back here, good ol' Mayor Hancock's got the back room reserved just for us tonight."

Sebastian let loose a giddy laugh. He was slowly pacing the back of the room as if he were looking for something, pupils blown open and dark. MacCready watched him go for a moment, wondering if there was a thought to follow that laugh, but when none came MacCready shook his head.

"No thanks, Hancock. Don't mean to be a buzzkill, I just don't use anymore."

Hancock raised a hand understandingly and let it fall on his knee. He leaned back on the couch, crossing his legs. "Ain't no pressure here, I promise. Just know that if you change your mind, I'll hook you up."

"Appreciate it," MacCready answered, and strangely, he really did. His eyes wandered to Sebastian again, who had ceased his aimless pacing and joined Hancock on the couch, resting his forehead on the ghoul's shoulder. Hancock offered the top of the vault-dweller's head a sideways grin.

"Hittin' you hard?" Hancock asked quietly, a voice meant only for Sebastian.

"Mm," Sebastian breathed a deep, swelling sigh. "Hancock, introduce me to Magnolia. She is _smoking_ hot."

"You've already met her, babe." Hancock answered, amused.

"Ohh," Sebastian laughed through his teeth. "I forgot. Was she into me?"

"You are high as hell," Hancock observed with a chuckle.

MacCready felt a recent memory crawl into his mind, a sour mixture of bitterness and unwanted arousal pooling in his stomach. It was a memory of seeing Hancock and Sebastian sitting next to the flickering light of a lantern, the ghoul hungrily mouthing Sebastian's neckline from behind. The vault-dweller's mouth was open in a silent gasp of approval, more honest and trusting than MacCready had ever seen him. Their clothes were on but they were moving together as if they weren't, Hancock's arm snaked around Sebastian's body and his hand decidedly stuffed down the front of Sebastian's pants, pumping enthusiastically beneath the layers of dirty cloth. Sebastian let out a needy groan and bent his spine, reaching an arm back to brace the back of Hancock's neck. The ghoul had chuckled throatily in his ear, as though he'd earned a small victory.

MacCready found himself rooted to the spot, freezing cold needles driving into the back of his neck. He'd been mesmerized. God help him, he'd never felt so unable to act. It wasn't because it was scandalous, or particularly shocking; Sebastian came on to _everyone,_ it was only a matter of time before he caught him in the act. It was that he'd never seen Sebastian like this, so open - the sarcastic mask gone - giving into something like passion, no matter how fleeting. MacCready felt like he'd seen something peeled back, exposed, and he wasn't sure how it made him feel. He made himself scarce after that. As far as he knew, neither of them knew he'd seen. They'd either been too distracted or too high to notice him.

"I'm going out to the bar, if that's alright. I could use a drink." MacCready pointedly stood up, grabbing his hat off the table beside him and slipping it on. Sebastian rolled his head to the side, viewing MacCready with a vaguely pouty expression.

"Whaaat? No, stay here, Creads!"

"He's coming back, Seb. S'not leaving forever," Hancock said, laughing.

"What he said. You two just… Have fun. Don't get _too_ fuc- messed up, okay?" Without giving Sebastian another moment to respond, MacCready slipped out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

Very quickly MacCready navigated his way back to the bar, following the drifting sound of Magnolia's voice. She was singing a slow tune, languid and smooth like the smoke filling the bar, fueling MacCready's urge for a cigarette. Perhaps he could drown the urge away with alcohol. Lesser of two evils. He wasn't even sure if that was right, but at this point it didn't really matter.

.

.

.

"Creads, hey, what are you doing out here?"

MacCready was surprised to hear Sebastian's voice from the lounge entrance, and even more surprised to hear it clear and coherent. It had been a couple of hours, he supposed Sebastian might have had time to come down. Why he was leaving the bar searching for MacCready in the middle of the night when he should be comfortably passed out after his high was beyond him.

"Getting some air. Geez, did you miss me that much?"

Sebastian approached with a grin, his pupils still dilated but much more aware and in the present. It brought MacCready an odd sort of relief. Perhaps part of his distaste for seeing the vault-dweller high off his gourd was the feeling of being left behind whenever Sebastian's mind floated beyond his reach. He liked to stay grounded. He liked for Sebastian to stay there, too.

"I passed out, and when I woke up you were _gone_ ," Sebastian admonished, sticking his hands into his jacket to ward off the night's odd chill. "Without saying anything! I got all worried."

"For god's sakes," MacCready laughed. "I _told_ you where I was going. You were just too damn high to remember. Didn't Hancock remind you?"

"Fuck, maybe," Sebastian leaned his shoulder against the wall, his head falling forward with a chuckle. "I don't remember that, sorry. When I came to, Hancock was out like a light so I didn't bother asking, I just went looking."

MacCready shook his head. "Listen, I know when to take a hint. I don't use anyway, so there was really no point to my being there. Thought I'd give you and Hancock some alone time."

Sebastian cocked his head, his features drawing into a sincerely puzzled expression. "Alone time?" He sputtered a sharp laugh. "Okay. Explain, MacCready. I wanna hear this."

"What?" MacCready frowned, getting the distinct feeling that Sebastian was playing with him. "I'm not an idiot, Seb. It's fine by me if you guys get up to… things. S'not like anyone around here is gonna judge."

"Whoa, whoa whoa…" Sebastian held out his hands in an authoritative way that barely suited him. "Are we talking about sex, or… something else?"

" _Something else_ …?" MacCready sighed heavily. "Are you fu- _err_ messing with me?"

"I'm not. I think you might have the wrong impression, is all. There's a big difference between sex and relationships."

"Christ, I know that!" MacCready said indignantly.

"Hancock and I just mess around sometimes when we're high. As for being 'more'... He's a good friend. Not sure I'd ever want to take it further."

MacCready wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, but it hadn't been an admission like this. He knew that Sebastian tended to have no shame in regards to recreational sex, but he couldn't understand why such a distinction was necessary. He didn't personally care one way or another. Over the last month, he and Sebastian had certainly developed a friendship of sorts, but they rarely confided in each other. Until this moment, MacCready had never considered that Sebastian may actually care about his opinion.

"Oh." was all MacCready could conjure. He wasn't sure what sort of response was desired, if any.

Sebastian slipped a cigarette from his pocket and put it between his lips. He flicked it between his teeth. Somehow he made smoking look _more_ tempting than it already was. "Hey… sorry, Creads. I know you're not wild about my using chems. Are things okay between us?"

MacCready didn't hear the vaultie apologize often. Or ever. Without thinking, he pulled a lighter from his pocket and flicked it open, extending it for Sebastian. The vault-dweller grinned and leaned forward, allowing MacCready to light his smoke for him. "Things are fine, I guess. I just don't see the point in putting that crap in your body. You'll get addicted, and then there'll be no living with you."

Sebastian laughed through his teeth. He took a long drag on his cigarette, blowing the smoke above them into the cool night air. "Nahh. You like me now, admit it. I've _charmed_ you. Chems aren't going to come between us, Creads." For added effect, Sebastian slid closer and nudged MacCready with his shoulder. "You're stuck with me."

Despite how annoyingly cocky he was acting, MacCready couldn't stifle a grin and shoved him back. "Keep the loot coming and I suppose I am."

Sebastian pouted facetiously. "I'm just a cap-cow to you, huh?"

MacCready honestly wished that were true, at this point. Things would be easier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As soon as I found out you could romance a ghoul, I was so sure Hancock was going to be my guy's main squeeze. But then along came MacCready, the adorable asshole, and all my plans had to change. I'll settle for friends with benefits, though.


	3. Oh, it does not relent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Down at the old Dunwich Borers...

This was a bad idea. He'd known when they first stumbled across the gaping quarry in the earth, and the feeling had lingered even after they cleared out the dozen raiders in the quarry. It wasn't often the hairs on the back of MacCready's neck stood rigid like that, and even less often that his instincts were wrong. If Nick were here, he would have backed him up. Maybe. Hancock was much less cautious by comparison. Sebastian had led them below ground into the work site, heedless of MacCready's heebeegeebees.

Now, some two dozen raiders and ghouls later, Sebastian had disappeared into a deep, pitch-black well they'd found deep underground. He'd promised he'd be fine, he swore he felt something 'beckoning' him down. Something about visions. MacCready knew he had to be high, but he hadn't seen him use in at least eight hours and Sebastian had seemed oddly lucid when he dove in.

MacCready paced in front of the well, his eyes glued to the surface of the eerily still water. "What is he thinking? What's _taking_ him so long?" It was taking every ounce of willpower MacCready possessed not to curse.

Hancock was crouched next to the water. MacCready wasn't sure if Hancock could see any better than he could in the suffocating darkness, but he doubted it.

"Hell if I know. Idiot's getting eaten up by rads, more than likely. Should've asked me to go, if he wanted to check it out so damn bad."

"How long?" MacCready asked, his wet boots stopping decidedly beside Hancock's kneeling form. "How long before we assume he isn't coming up?"

Hancock stood up, hands resting on his hips, staring down at the water as if trying to decide how to discipline it. "There's no need to panic. Yet."

A curse word perched itself right on the end of MacCready's tongue. He swallowed it. His heart was thumping so hard against his rib-cage he felt sure his ribs were cracking against the pressure. He wasn't sure he could do it again. Maybe it was the eeriness of this place, maybe it was the cryptic things Sebastian had been saying, but MacCready was reminded of that day. The utter pain of loss, of being there, of seeing it. Of being helpless.

As if moving by someone else's will, MacCready shrugged off his duster and pulled off his boots, his heart stuck fast in his throat. As he started to unfasten his belts Hancock grabbed his hand, effectively halting his progress.

"I _said_ , there's no need to panic! I don't need both of you jumping down there like fucking lunatics. Seb is enough of a lunatic for all of us, alright?"

"He's taking too long, something's wrong!" MacCready asserted, brushing Hancock off of him with more force than he'd intended. "I can't- I… ...I'm going in, so just-"

The surface of the water broke and a loud, gasping breath for air filled the narrow chamber. Sebastian grabbed at the edges of the well, sputtering and spitting, and both MacCready and Hancock were on him immediately, pulling him out onto the rocks. Falling on his side, Sebastian gagged and coughed, holding something long and oddly curved tightly in his hands.

"Seb, _jesus_ , you okay?" MacCready wasn't sure what to do, so he merely followed Hancock's lead and knelt beside the vaultie, a hand hesitantly extended in case he needed to slap him on the back or something else equally as unhelpful. "Don't say anything, just nod."

Sebastian dropped the item he'd been clutching and it fell onto the rocky floor with a metallic clang. He issued a decisive nod, maneuvering onto his hands and knees to spit up the rest of the water he'd swallowed, his coughs less violent and followed by long gasps.

"You insane mother fucker," Hancock chuckled, patting Sebastian on the shoulder. "You scared the shit out of us. MacCready here was just about ready to dive in and pull your sorry ass out of there."

His breaths coming at a slower tempo, Sebastian's eyes flicked up to regard MacCready with an unreadable expression. All of a sudden MacCready felt ridiculous. He couldn't even deny what the ghoul had said, considering his duster was laying in a pile beside his boots. Now that Sebastian was in front of him, clearly alive, he felt as though he might have overreacted. Who was the vault-dweller to him, anyway? MacCready wasn't completely unfeeling about him, but they hadn't known each other for very long. He was only here now because Sebastian had paid him 200 caps in the back room of a bar. Certainly there wasn't enough there to justify what he'd almost just done. He didn't put himself in harm's way for _anyone_ , not anymore. What had he been thinking?

Sebastian breathed deeply through his nose. "So… rry…" Sebastian gasped, his usual smug half-smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. "There was… another tunnel… ritual... sacrifices…"

Hancock was busying himself with Sebastian's previously discarded gear, locating a Radaway and preparing it. "Right, okay love. You swallowed too much water, I think. I'm surprised you're not glowing."

As if for proof, Sebastian pushed the long, dark object into the glare of his pip boy. The neon green light illuminated a jagged, oddly shaped short sword. It was hard to tell whether or not the blade was stylized to look like something out of a nightmare or if it had been stuck at the bottom of the well for so long it had become completely decrepit.

"Holy shit," Hancock picked up the blade, testing it out in his own hand by squeezing the grip and flipping it a few times. "This is one impressive blade."

"It's yours," Sebastian said, sitting on his legs and raking his fingers through his wet hair, droplets sliding down his forehead. "S'not like… I have any…. use for it."

"You swam to the bottom of that death trap just to pick me up a damn present?" Hancock chided, frowning at Sebastian.

"I didn't know what was down there _for sure_ ," Sebastian retorted, coughing again. "Doesn't matter, anyway. I was… _haah…_ hoping for something a little more valuable."

" _Jesus_ , Seb." MacCready slid a hand down his face, still mildly ashamed of how his heart was racing.

Sebastian looked up at him again, offering him a smile. "Sorry," he breathed. "Didn't mean to scare ya."

 _I didn't mean to get so scared_ , MacCready wanted to say, but he wouldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just call him Robert “what the hell are my feelings doing” Joseph MacCready
> 
> I loved this quest, I stumbled upon this place randomly when I was running around with Hancock. It was so eerie and awesome. Kremvh's Tooth is OP as fuuucckkkk. Hancock wreaks havoc with that thing. :’D


	4. Jaws clenched tight we danced all night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian shows MacCready how that dancing thing is supposed to go.

Concerto in E major, Vivaldi's "Spring". MacCready wasn't a classical music buff by any means, but he'd heard the song enough over the last three months to be able to hum along. Sebastian listened to classical music whenever he worked in the garage. Classical while he worked, swing when he killed. He never explained why, but there were plenty of things that didn't need explanations.

MacCready was nursing a beer, flipping through one of the latest issues of Publick Occurrences. 1000 guinea pigs, huh. He wasn't surprised that Sebastian had said that, but he was infinitely surprised that Piper had allowed it to be printed. Then again, he supposed it made for a good story.

To his left, Sebastian cursed and dropped his hammer. MacCready looked to see Sebastian shaking his grease-covered hand in the air, hissing through his teeth.

"I told you to wear gloves," MacCready reminded.

"Shut it," Sebastian muttered, cleaning his hand off on a dirty towel by his knees. "I just pinched a finger, no harm done." He groaned. "Hurts like hell, though."

"What are you even doing?" MacCready asked, setting the paper aside to take a look at the suit of T-60 armor the vaultie was fawning over. "I've never been good with this kind of stuff, but it looks the exact same as when you started working on it."

Sebastian stood up, turning to appraise the suit while scrubbing his hands on the towel. MacCready found it difficult not to notice the way Sebastian's shoulder blades shifted against the snug white cloth of his dirty t-shirt.

"Lead plating. Doesn't look very pretty, but it's tough as shit. Good for radiation, too."

"There's _pride_ in your voice." MacCready grinned and leaned back in his chair. "You really like this kind of stuff, don't you? Working on suits and weapons, that sort of thing."

Sebastian took another moment to stare at his suit before turning, dropping the dirty towel on the table. There was a dark smudge on his forehead, above one arched brow. "Well, there are no cars to work on anymore, so this is the next best thing. I used to tinker with suits before the war when I was still on active duty, too. Ironically, I always wanted a suit of my own. Who knew my dream would come true one measly nuclear war and 200 years later?" He smiled, but it seemed more distant than usual. More fragile.

MacCready wasn't used to hearing tidbits of Sebastian's pre-war life. He rarely spoke of himself before stumbling out of Vault 111. It was hard to imagine that he _existed_ before then. He knew Sebastian had been married, he knew his wife had been killed. He knew his son had been taken, he knew the Institute was involved. He intended to help Sebastian take on the Institute - without question - but it was moments like these that he realized how little he knew about Sebastian, this man that he was willing to follow into a hail of gunfire.

"We'll be ready for our little meet-up with Winlock and Barnes. I want us to be the prettiest girls at the party." Sebastian tapped his knuckles against T-60's arm. "We'll have the advantage in these. Stomping around in armor isn't the same as getting it to sing. I don't think they'll be expecting all the upgrades I'm planning to implement. Dumb jerks."

Guilt and gratitude mixed together and hit MacCready like a wave. Ever since Sebastian had agreed to help him deal with the Gunners, he'd been unable to figure out how he could ever make it up to him. Even now, he couldn't understand why someone like Sebastian - who prided himself on his 'looking out for number one' attitude - would take the time to help him. He wasn't about to refuse it, but it mystified him.

"About that," MacCready stood up, rubbing the back of his neck. "Again, Seb, I just want to say-"

"Shh," Sebastian raised a hand abruptly, eyes flicking to the ceiling, tilting his head to better hear something. MacCready froze, listening for the familiar putter of distant gunshots or the sound of someone lurking outside the truck stop. When he heard neither, MacCready perked a brow at Sebastian questioningly.

"What are we listening to?" he asked.

Sebastian jabbed a thumb at the radio on the end table next to the tool chest. "Chopin. Nocturne in E flat major, I think. I've danced to this song." He grinned, perhaps at the memories or perhaps at the fact that he'd successfully duped MacCready yet again. Maybe both. MacCready sighed and shook his head, pulling off his hat to rake a hand through his unruly hair.

"Uh-huh. I can't imagine you dancing, for some reason."

Sebastian stared at MacCready indignantly. "What? I'm a _great_ dancer."

"Sure, okay," MacCready snorted. "So am I."

"You don't dance?" Sebastian asked, grey eyes burning into MacCready's with unashamed mischief. "Never? Or are you just shit at it?"

"When would I have had the opportunity to _dance_?" MacCready barked. "Seriously, Seb…"

Sebastian clapped his hands together sharply and stepped closer, extending a hand to MacCready with an oddly stony expression. "You and me, let's go."

"Wh-what?"

"Let's dance. It's _super_ easy. This is a slow one, too, perfect for a waltz. The toddler of dances, some might say."

MacCready stared at Sebastian in disbelief. To be fair, there was no trusting anything Sebastian ever said. This was just like the vault populated with guinea pigs, MacCready was positive.

"You're not serious…?"

"Why not?" Sebastian asked, frowning in confusion. "I don't bite, Creads."

"That's not…" MacCready sighed resignedly. "You're _covered_ in grease, first off."

"I cleaned up!" Sebastian pointed at the towel for proof. "You're just making excuses. Are you embarrassed?"

"Well, it's just a little strange to get this kind of invitation out of the blue," MacCready answered uneasily.

Sebastian stepped even closer and swept an arm out, sarcastically showcasing the garage. "There's no one around to feel embarrassed for, except for Dogmeat. And he won't be telling anyone anytime soon, probably." In the corner of the garage, Dogmeat perked up, hearing his name. When he realized no one was calling him, he got back to gnawing a rib bone. "Come _on_ , the song'll be over before you decide!"

"Fine!" MacCready snapped, successfully goaded. "Just… tell me what to do, then."

The vaultie grinned smugly over his small triumph. "It's not hard, here. Comere." As if it were the most natural thing in the world, Sebastian grabbed MacCready's right hand in his own and gently pulled him close, resting his other hand on the low of MacCready's back. MacCready hated to swim and usually avoided water whenever possible; right now, he felt like he was floundering. He'd never been so unsure of what to do with his arms, but fortunately Sebastian had no issues taking the lead. He gently squeezed MacCready's hand, guiding him into the correct position. MacCready awkwardly placed his hand on Sebastian's shoulder, which he immediately knew wasn't quite right as soon as Sebastian's lip twitched into a frustratingly fond smile.

"Little to the left," Sebastian said, his voice low. MacCready obeyed, sliding his hand to Sebastian's upper arm. He frowned.

"I can't help but notice that you have me in the girl's position."

"Something wrong with that?" Sebastian asked, grinning. It was obnoxious. Handsome, but mostly obnoxious. "It's easier to lead this way. Deal with it."

Sebastian began moving just as the piano swelled and climbed, leading MacCready gently in time. Trying to allow Sebastian to guide him without thinking too much, MacCready clumsily followed, glancing down at their feet. Sebastian clicked his tongue.

"Nuh-uh, no no no. Eyes up here, mister."

"I was just-"

"Don't look down. Just concentrate on the music and follow my lead. You're doing fine."

Too far in to turn back now, MacCready struggled to keep his gaze on Sebastian's face, fighting the urge to look down and micromanage his steps. He found it difficult to look directly into the vault-dweller's eyes with their bodies so close together, breathing in each other's air. All at once MacCready realized how ridiculous this all was.

"Wow, this _is_ really embarrassing. People really do this?" MacCready asked.

"Yep. Not sure how common it is anymore, but in 2077, it was a _very_ popular pastime. If you knew how to dance, getting laid was a breeze. Girls love a guy who can wow her on the dance-floor. I'm sure my good looks didn't hurt, either."

"Oh my god, Seb." MacCready continued stepping in time with Sebastian, his movements much more stiff and clumsy by comparison. "Is everything you do just to get laid?"

"Mostly," Sebastian admitted, stepping on his heel to turn, sweeping MacCready effortlessly along with him. Okay, maybe Sebastian had a point about the wowing thing. "Before I became an ancient artifact, anyway. After meeting Nora, I thought maybe I'd try a different kind of life. When I found out she was pregnant, it sort of sealed the deal."

His wife's name. MacCready had never heard her name before. He felt strangely honored.

"Did you enjoy it? Settling down, I mean?"

Sebastian's eyes looked straight through MacCready for a moment, and then he was back. "I'm not sure," he said. The song ended, but Sebastian kept them in fluid motion until the next song began. His pace altered to match it - Brahms, MacCready was pretty sure - all the while looking upwards in thought. "It felt good to let my guard down for once. I hadn't realized until I met Nora how defensive and untrusting I really was. I liked to have a good time because it was only that - a good time. No commitments, no seeing them after they left in the morning. It was easy. I missed it, I guess, but I realized I didn't want to keep going like that forever."

MacCready understood, to an extent. He had a nasty habit of keeping people at incredible distances, and had a history of intense distrust for others. Now that he was thinking about it, Sebastian was the first person he'd allowed to get close since… well. In a while, anyway.

"Do you still… feel like that?" MacCready asked curiously.

Sebastian turned them again. MacCready stumbled, his foot knocking into Sebastian's ankle.

"Ah, shi- sorry,"

"It's fine," Sebastian said, smiling. "Fucking up is normal. You're doing great."

"Gee whiz, thanks," MacCready laughed through his nose. "You know, I kind of hate to admit this, but you're a good partner."

"Oh?" Sebastian showed off by pulling MacCready closer and twirling them around three times, MacCready stumbling to keep up. "I _told_ you I was good."

"Yeah, yeah. You're super dreamy and all that. I'm swooning."

"Am I _that_ good?" Sebastian asked sarcastically, comically wiggling his eyebrows. "I'm impressed with myself. Even more so than usual."

MacCready laughed, feeling strangely giddy. "I'm finding that a _little_ hard to believe."

"Me too," Sebastian admitted, chuckling. The song ended. Instead of continuing in anticipation for the next, Sebastian slowed their dance to a stop, his hand lingering on MacCready's back for another long moment. The silence between songs seemed like an eternity. MacCready had no where to look but into Sebastian's eyes, held in place by nothing but his inability to be the one to pull away. That smudge was still there, and for a wild moment MacCready wanted to wipe it off on his sleeve. His own urge frightened him. He dropped his gaze just as the next song began.

Sebastian's hand fell from MacCready's back. He held tight to MacCready's hand, bringing it to his lips to plant a fleeting kiss to his knuckles before releasing him. "Thanks for the dance, Creads."

MacCready let his hand fall to his side, feeling his chest tighten with something indeterminable. He wanted to say something witty or reprimand Sebastian for teasing him but nothing came to mind.

"By the way." Sebastian grinned, turning away to grab up the dirty towel as he got back to his suit. "Anyone ever tell you you're real easy on the eyes?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The actual song lyric is ‘jaws clenched tight we talked all night’ but…. well, dancing.


	5. Oh, but what the hell did we say?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Relationship troubles? Papa Nick to the rescue!

" _I was hoping what we have together could be_ more _than friendship."_

 _Ping_. MacCready squeezed the trigger, and another tin can went flying. He shifted his weight only slightly, lining up his next shot. He stared down the next can through his scope, those words drifting through his mind and weighing him down. He squeezed the trigger again - miss. He shouldn't have missed it. He was distracted.

Yesterday he'd pulled Sebastian aside to thank him for all he'd done - both for him and for his son - and he might have said more than he'd needed to. He gave Sebastian his wooden soldier toy, and confided in him about Lucy and Duncan and everything else. He'd bared his soul. He couldn't have possibly made himself more vulnerable if he'd tried. But he trusted Sebastian. He knew Sebastian was a thoroughly untrustworthy person, and yet he trusted him wholeheartedly. Ludicrous. And after he had said his piece, Sebastian had asked for more. 'More than friendship', he said. Even though he had Hancock, even though it was glaringly obvious that Piper would jump on the chance to be with him, Sebastian was choosing _him_. MacCready would be lying if he said it didn't make him happy in the strangest way, and in the same breath terrify him to his core.

 _Ping_. The next tin can is bent in half and clangs against the perimeter fence. His hand was shakier than usual. It was frustrating.

"Your aim looks a bit off." A voice from behind startled MacCready from his thoughts. He knew immediately who is was by the vague metallic ring that tended to accompany it.

"Off day," MacCready lied. Or was it the truth? He wasn't sure anymore. He realized how this must look, laying on his stomach all alone on the Starlight Drive-In's roof, shooting cans in the middle of the night. There was no way he could convince anyone there wasn't something wrong, least of all Nick.

"Uh- _huh_." The soft, rhythmic thud of a pack of cigarettes being tapped against Nick's skeletal metal hand filled the silence between them before Nick finally stopped, slipping a cig into his mouth. A flick of a lighter, and the pack was stuffed back into Nick's jacket. MacCready knew this tactic. Nick was grilling him with silence, waiting for MacCready to say something without being prompted. It was hard to forget that Nick had the memories of a detective, complete with a tragically unsatisfiable chain-smoking habit.

"If you want to be alone, I can get lost," Nick offered, finally, when MacCready gave him nothing, "but it seems like you might want to get something off your chest."

MacCready sighed. He took aim again, lining up his shot. His finger squeezed the trigger. He missed. Fu- Frick. He may as well have flipped a coin and lost. Pulling himself up, MacCready sat back, his rifle in his lap.

"I'm not really sure what to say."

"Say anything," Nick said, taking a drag on his cigarette. The smoke poured through the side of his cheek, some of it seeping through the gaping hole in his neck.

MacCready sucked in a deep breath and let it out slow. "It's about Seb."

"I _may_ have gathered that much." Nick expertly twirled his cigarette between his spindly fingers. "What'd he do." It wasn't a question, more like a prediction. Somehow that made things more awkward.

"No, it was… He- ...dammit, Valentine, I don't know if I can talk about this."

"You're struggling to shoot _tin cans_ at 3:09 in the morning, MacCready. Either talk about it or kiss your perfect kill-shot goodbye."

"Fine!" MacCready groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. "Seb told me he wants to be more than friends. And I… want that too, I guess. But I don't know what to do now. So…" he sighed, heat crawling into his neck and face. " _Christ_ , this is not how I imagined my life. Talking about my romantic problems with a synth." He grimaced. "No offense."

"For once, none taken," Nick answered, another puff of smoke escaping through his broken face. "So, Seb finally told you, huh? Thought he'd never get around to it."

"Whoa, wait," MacCready stood up, leaving his gun lying on the roof. "You knew?"

Nick rolled his glowing eyes. "De _-tec-_ tive, MacCready. Try to keep up. If you think I haven't had enough experience watching Seb's obscure attraction rituals by now, you're out of your skull. He's been smitten with you for weeks. Maybe longer, sometimes it's hard to tell. I'm surprised it's taken him this long to say something. S'not like him. Must be serious."

Groaning again, MacCready turned around so he wouldn't have to look into those glaring ember eyes. "This isn't exactly making me feel better."

"What's the problem?" Nick asked, tossing his cigarette butt onto the roof and snuffing it under his boot. "You clearly reciprocate his feelings, or you wouldn't be up here shooting cans. So I'm guessing there's another layer to this problem of yours."

It was almost annoying how perceptive Nick was. MacCready wasn't sure how to say it. He wasn't even sure how he felt, let alone how to put it into words.

"I… I'm not sure," MacCready answered finally. "Everything about it feels surreal. I've… well, I've never been with a man. And Seb… he's got _a lot_ of experience. On both sides. That doesn't bother me, really. I just worry we want different things. I know what he's usually after... I don't want to be just another notch on his belt."

"Look, MacCready," Nick shoved his hands into the pockets of his trench coat, shrugging up his shoulders. "I don't personally know jack about love and romance. I have the old Nick's memories of it, but I can't really apply them to myself, or others… At least, not in a way that'll be helpful here. But I know Seb, and I know you. Seb's a lot of things - most not too honorable - but he's honest when it comes to what he wants. If he just wanted sex, he would have said so. If he told you he wants to be more than friends, I'd bet you can take him at his word." He adjusted his hat and cleared his throat, wires vibrating. "Don't just take my word for it. Talk to him. Clear the air. Figure out what _you_ want."

MacCready knew Nick was right. He'd been avoiding talking about all of this for fear of making it real, of putting his happiness precariously in someone else's hands. After Lucy, he never thought he could love again. He wondered if Sebastian felt the same way. There was still so much about Sebastian he didn't know, so much that was uncertain. Even so, he wanted this. He wanted to try, he wanted Sebastian to let him in. He wanted to be with him.

MacCready wasn't used to thanking anyone for anything, so the words didn't come easily. "Hey, Valentine. Uhh…" He looked down and rubbed the back of his neck. "That's… Than-"

"Monsieur Nick, are you up here?" Curie poked her head in the doorway behind them. Her eyes became round upon noticing MacCready. "Oh, Monsieur MacCready is here as well. I am sorry, am I interrupting something?"

Nick waved a hand dismissively, turning toward Curie and making his way toward the door. "No, no. Sorry, Curie, I forgot you wanted to run diagnostics on my noggin. We were just having a chat, but I think MacCready here should probably get some sleep. He's got a big day ahead of him."

"Oh!" Curie offered MacCready an inquisitive look. "Is there something important happening for you today, monsieur?"

MacCready picked up his rifle, slinging it over his shoulder. He chuckled. "Depends on how much sleep I get, I guess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kinda makes you feel shitty for all those 'motor oil' jokes, doesn't it MacCready? ;)


	6. Shrug off shortsighted false excitement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just two dudes in a railroad car.

They'd been holed up in a railroad car for the better part of an hour. A radiation storm was raging just outside, healing any and all feral ghouls that may not have been completely obliterated by the vault-dweller and his companion. They could handle the ghouls, but not in the middle of a storm like this. Hence, the railroad car. At least Sebastian's pip-boy had a decent light, or else neither of them would be able to see their hands in front of their faces. Not the best time to have a relationship discussion, but MacCready had royally missed his chance early in the day and now he finally had Sebastian alone. Beggars can't be choosers and all that.

Sebastian leaned the back of his head against the wall, swiping some dirty-blonde strands away from his sweaty forehead. "Not the most romantic rendezvous, but I think we can make it work," Sebastian said with a grin. "Sorry to pull you along for this. I thought this was gonna be a quick trip for easy caps. I forgot how quickly the wasteland can say 'fuck you' to the weary traveler."

"I'm used to it by now. I've come to pretty much expect detours when I'm with you." MacCready answered, sitting to Sebastian's left with his legs crossed. He huffed a sigh, whipping off his hat and tossing it in the pile of growing weapons, jackets and other articles that the railroad car was getting too warm to tolerate. "Besides… Now that we have a moment, I wanted to talk to you about something."

Sebastian sucked in a subtle breath. He let it out slow. "Kay. Shoot."

Immediately MacCready felt as though he'd soured the air, but he knew there was no where to go but forward. "I'm sorry I've been so tight-lipped since… then. Since you told me. I needed time, I think. To process everything. That's childish, I know, but I've got it together now. I just wanted to… I don't know, clarify some things?"

Sebastian nodded. A tension lifted that MacCready hadn't even noticed was there.

"Creads, I'll clarify whatever you want, but I wanna say some things first." He turned to MacCready and locked eyes with him. His expression betrayed nothing, so honest it was nearly unnerving. It was unlike him. "I love you."

MacCready's heart did approximately three back-flips and then jammed itself firmly into his throat. It was almost frustrating how easily Sebastian could subdue him, how effortlessly he could silence the troubling thoughts pooling in MacCready's mind with three simple clichéd words.

"I love you, Robert Joseph MacCready. I'm sorry I didn't just say that at the get-go, maybe I could've saved you some grief. Or confusion." Sebastian raked his fingers through his hair, tilting his head with a grin. "I decided I really don't want to go on without you by my side. I want you with me, and I feel like if I can be lucky enough to have that, everything else is gonna be fine." At MacCready's continued silence, Sebastian cleared his throat. "Insert other lovey-dovey prose here. This doin' anything for you?"

MacCready laughed, trying to tame his emotions. "Yeah, it's… Yeah." He breathed a shaky sigh. "Sorry, I…. I was all ready to talk about this, and now I'm completely speechless."

"Maybe it's the storm. All that radiation is interfering with your brain."

"Sure, that must be it."

Sebastian smiled. It was a tame smile, for once. Patient. "Did any of that… _clarify_ anything for you?"

MacCready shoved away from the wall, turning to Sebastian and sliding his hands over the vault-dwellers shoulders. "Yeah, I'd say it did." Without missing a beat he leaned in, his lips finding Sebastian's and kissing them hard.

It was overwhelming in the best way. It was new, like his first kiss with Lucy but more frightening, more electric. Sebastian kissed him back enthusiastically, hands slipping to MacCready's waist to silently urge him closer. MacCready obliged, climbing carefully into Sebastian's lap to straddle him without breaking their kiss. He breathed deeply through his nose, hands moving to cradle the back of Sebastian's head while kissing him as though he were desperate for his air. They groped each other through their clothes, exploring like love-sick adolescents, caught up in each other's warmth and closeness. MacCready felt drunk. His mind was blissfully clouded, trying hard to memorize the feeling of Sebastian's lips against his.

Sebastian broke the kiss, his breath ghosting just over MacCready's lips, lightly panting for air. "So this is really okay?" he asked softly. "This is what you want?"

MacCready smiled, pecking Sebastian's mouth between words. "I want this," he answered seriously, running his fingers through Sebastian's hair. "I needed to know you meant this to last. I was scared. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." Sebastian kissed MacCready deeply, pushing him down onto his back and climbing over him, inhaling MacCready's grunt of discomfort upon hitting the floor. He pulled away to kiss MacCready's jaw and neck, scraping his teeth over his skin. MacCready groaned, sliding his arms around Sebastian's neck to urge him on. "I get it. I haven't exactly given you a lot of reasons to take me seriously." _Understatement of the year_ , MacCready wanted to say, but he was having trouble forming words with Sebastian's mouth mapping a path along his neck. "Especially when it comes to _this_ kind of stuff."

He kissed his way back up to MacCready's mouth, devouring his lips again. MacCready opened his mouth just as Sebastian dipped his tongue in, hot and adamant, feverishly plundering MacCready's warm wetness. MacCready's mind fell blank. He felt like a teenager again - admittedly not a far step back from where he was now - reckless and needy, aroused at the drop of a hat. For a moment he lost control and bit Sebastian's lower lip, earning him an appreciative groan. He felt a strange sense of pride wash over him. He recalled hearing that groan before some time ago, feeling certain he would never be allowed to see such a vulnerable side of Sebastian for himself. So much had changed since then. Greed set in. He wanted more. He wanted to see more reactions, he wanted to be the one to make Sebastian feel good.

MacCready gently prodded Sebastian's arousal with his knee. Sebastian chuckled playfully against MacCready's lips.

"Ah, the secret's out now, Creads. I didn't realize you were such a pervert."

"You are the _last_ person who should be accusing someone of being a pervert." MacCready answered, his knee continuing to press teasingly against the bulge in Sebastian's pants.

"People _expect_ it of me. You, you're more of a surprise." It was clear Sebastian was furiously thinking of ways to retaliate, but MacCready's knee was stunting his progress. Another little glimmer of pride.

MacCready kissed Sebastian again, fleetingly. "Life is short. If we're gonna do this, I'm not wasting any time, Seb."

"I wouldn't _dream_ of arguing with that," Sebastian's hand slid to MacCready's stomach, fingers slipping under his undershirt and pressing against his heated skin, slick with sweat. He pulled MacCready's shirt up, grazing his nails over him as he went. "I just never thought our first time fooling around would be in a railroad car."

As Sebastian worked to peel MacCready out of his shirt, MacCready busied himself with Sebastian's pants, struggling to unfasten them from his awkward position.

"Have you ever fooled around in a railroad car before?" MacCready asked headily as Sebastian mouthed his neck.

"It's actually a first for me." Sebastian pulled MacCready's shirt up around his neck and lowered his head to flick his tongue against MacCready's right nipple. MacCready's spine bent and he let out a shuddering groan. "And _this_ is a first for you, I think."

" _Haah_ … Shi- Seb, that's…"

"Never understood why women don't do this to men more often." Sebastian murmured against the firm nub, swirling his tongue around methodically. "It can feel just as nice for us."

MacCready lacked the capacity to answer properly. He eagerly fisted a hand in Sebastian's hair, lips parted to issue shallow breaths. As Sebastian licked him he bucked his hips up, ensuring the vaultie was well aware of his straining arousal. Ever accommodating, Sebastian's hand crept southward, moving to slide over the bulge in MacCready's pants.

A sharp, sudden impact resounded beside them, banging hard against the side of the railroad car. As if they'd been caught stealing something, both of the car's occupants snapped to attention, still as stone. Another attack, this time hard enough to jostle the car. Amidst the distant sounds of thunder, a furious roar permeated the air.

"Oh for _fucks_ sake. I finally get the chance to get frisky with you, and a deathclaw decides to show up and cock-blocks me. Unbelievable."

The two of them separated and began hastily throwing on their discarded clothes. "Been looking forward to that for a long time, have you?" MacCready teased with a grin. "I'm blushing."

"You _were_ blushing," Sebastian accused, his mouth pulled into a pout, "and it was insanely attractive. But then we got rudely interrupted. Prick. I hope you realize that we're continuing this later, mister." The car was hit again, giant claws managing to pierce the metal. Sebastian loaded his shotgun and glared at the offending claws as though they were merely an annoyance.

"Yeah, let's focus on surviving the next few minutes first," MacCready knew the plan before it was even spoken. He was useless at short range, so he expected Sebastian would open the door, unload on the deathclaw with his shotgun to distract it while MacCready slips out and takes it out from behind. There was no guarantee that was going to work, but it was really the only option they had. MacCready wasn't particularly worried. They'd been in tighter pinches before, and Sebastian tended to be more dangerous than usual when he was sexually frustrated.

Sebastian stood up, shotgun in hand. "Okay. On the count of three, Creads."

"Roger. Just one thing, first." MacCready wedged the butt of his rifle in his armpit, standing to the right of the door. "I love you, too."

Sebastian grinned. Forgetting his countdown, he kicked in the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nookie is hard to achieve in the wasteland. Always a douchebag cock-blocker lurking behind every corner. Or a deathclaw, whatever.


	7. Late nights with warm, warm whiskey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That one where everyone gets drunk and Sebastian gets horny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for the quest 'Kid in a Fridge' ahead. Not that the title of the quest itself is a spoiler or anything.

The base of a half-empty bourbon bottle met the counter with a dull clunk, wobbling every other bottle in its path. Piper had a tendency to be much more forceful when she was drunk, which was a wonder in of itself considering she usually needed no help in that regard. Despite her strange spike in strength she held her liquor admirably, seemingly blessed with the ability to forgo hangovers, drunken slurring and overall unsteadiness altogether. It was slightly terrifying and completely unfair in MacCready's opinion.

"Blue, tell the one about that kid you found in the fridge." Piper laughed, leaning her elbows on the counter. "I love that one!"

Hancock snorted, picking his head up off the end of the counter where he'd been previously motionless. MacCready thought he'd been passed out. "That story is absolutely _not_ true," he said, chuckling. "There's no way that happened."

"It did, though!" Sebastian replied adamantly, pointing accusingly at Hancock with a bottle of beer still curled in his fingers. "You were there!"

"I was high as dicks and so were you. S'no way a kid lived in a fridge for…" Hancock let loose a sudden giddy laugh, "200… years… oh man, I can't even take _myself_ seriously saying it out-loud…"

"Pssh," Sebastian waved Hancock off, leaning back against the counter. "Don't listen to him. It totally happened."

"Monsieur, I would _very_ much like to hear the story!" Curie asserted, her cheeks tinged deep rose. She'd only had half a glass of wine before she'd started to get giggly, and Nick had been stuck close to her side all night, watching over her like a mother hen. It was her first time consuming alcohol, and so far it seemed to be hitting her exactly like a human. Specifically a preteen. A preteen with a low alcohol tolerance.

Sebastian grinned and turned to Curie, his eyes alight with mischief. "Hancock and I found a kid locked up in a fridge. He'd been in there for 200 years. _Pre-war_ , you understand? He'd turned into a ghoul. It was insane."

"Oh!" Curie's eyes were as wide as dinner plates. "I would very much like to examine him!"

"He lives with his parents now. Oh, I skipped that part. We had to find his family, cause he was all 'I know they're alive!' or whatever so we went looking, and guess! what! They-"

" _They turned into ghouls too_!" Piper cut in, laughing while banging her hand against the counter. "What are the _chances_ of that? It shouldn't be funny, but it is!"

"Amazing!" Curie exclaimed.

"It doesn't sound real at all," Nick said, shaking his head.

"It really doesn't." MacCready agreed.

"Naysayers!" Sebastian accused the men. "If I can ever remember where that little brat lives, I'll take you there myself to prove he's real. We'll find the fridge, too."

"The _fridge…_ " Hancock dissolved into laughter again, putting his head back down on the counter top. "Fucking hell…"

"Curie, how you holding up?" Piper asked curiously. For a moment Curie looked as though she didn't know who was speaking to her. Finally she managed to hone in on Piper and offered her a rosy smile.

"Oh, I am doing well, Mademoiselle Piper! This wine is very good. Very, _very_ good. And…" she observed her wine glass closely, as if there was something wrong with it, "I find it very strange that we are entertaining ourselves by putting alcohol in our bodies. It is counter-productive, no? Humans usually avoid poisoning themselves, but for recreational purposes they will consume poisonous substances that make them sick! Purposefully!" Curie unleashed a barrage of fluttering laughter, teetering in her seat. "It is fascinating!"

"Oh, honey, I think you've had enough," Piper said fondly.

"Or not enough!" Sebastian crowed, pushing his beer in the air. "Drink up, babe!"

"Now look," Nick started authoritatively. Curie put a hand on his sleeve, and Nick's spine straightened faster than a jackrabbit on a date.

"Monsieur Nick, it is quite alright. With you here taking care of me, I am sure there is nothing to worry about." She offered Nick a warm smile, and Nick adjusted his tie awkwardly.

"Ah, well, if you say so," Nick responded.

Sebastian watched the synths for a silent moment before his eyes popped open in realization. "OoooohHHHH-"

MacCready planted his hand firmly over Sebastian's mouth. " _Grow up_ ," he hissed.

"What gives?" Hancock was weeding through the cluster of bottles on the counter, all of them tragically devoid of liquid. "Did we seriously kill the booze?"

"Ahw. I wasn't done drinking!" Piper said, just after finishing off her bottle of bourbon.

"Naw, there's more in the garage," Sebastian hopped to his feet, staggering a bit on the spot. "Creads, come with. We're on alcohol recon."

"Yeah, okay," MacCready stood up, acutely aware of his own intoxication as the floor wobbled underneath him. Focusing on walking straight, MacCready followed Sebastian into the garage.

The Red Rocket Truck Stop already had a perfectly good garage of its own, but Sebastian insisted it 'wasn't big enough' for all of the power suit parts he was slowly amassing. He was working on building an extension, branching off the West entrance. It was a space big enough for multiple work-stations and power suits, and currently it was where all the spare beer was kept.

"Should be a cooler full of beer on the floor over there," Sebastian pointed to a wooden work table offhandedly while rummaging around in a crate near the door. MacCready approached the table with much more steadiness than he'd thought he'd been capable of. As soon as he leaned down to ransack the cooler, he heard the garage door slide closed behind him.

"Seb."

"Y _uu_ p."

"Why'd you close the door?"

Sebastian chuckled darkly. "Why indeed. What a thrilling mystery."

Hands snaked over MacCready's shoulders and wrapped around his neck. Lips ghosted over the back of his neck, planting soft kisses. MacCready grinned, his loins responding almost faster than his brain. "We- Look, hornball, we _can't_ … Everyone is in the other room, there's no _way_ they won't hear us!" Despite his bold objections MacCready stood up, obediently turning to face the offender. Sebastian closed off the distance between their bodies, his hands finding MacCready's waist and pressing their pelvises together.

"We'll just have to be quiet, then." Sebastian purred, closing his mouth over MacCready's. They kissed, hot and frantic, stumbling backwards until MacCready's ass hit the table. Sebastian busied himself with MacCready's belt and fly, hastily unfastening his pants with much more finesse than one might expect from a man who'd just downed four beers in less than an hour. MacCready returned the favor, undoing Sebastian's trousers with much less graceful fingers.

Sebastian swallowed the first moan of pleasure as he gently pulled MacCready's hardening cock from his briefs and gave it a stroke, thumbing the tip. They pulled apart, gasping for air. Sebastian continued stroking MacCready's cock methodically, watching his lover's expression with a hungry grin.

"Mmm, you like that? Does that feel good?" Sebastian murmured close to MacCready's ear, nibbling his earlobe teasingly.

"Ch-christ, Seb, you know damn well- _haah_!"

Sebastian picked up the pace, pumping MacCready's throbbing length in time with his heartbeat. MacCready bit down on his bottom lip to keep from making too much noise.

"Fuck, Seb, don't stop-"

" _There_ it is. Get some alcohol in you and it gets hard not to curse, right?" Sebastian chuckled quietly, kissing the dip under MacCready's ear. "It drives me crazy hearing you say such naughty, naughty words."

MacCready laughed on an exhale. "You… _ahh_ , should have known me back in Little Lamplight, then."

Sebastian pulled his hand away, and MacCready issued a disappointed groan at it's absence. He was rewarded a moment later by the feeling of Sebastian's cock sliding against his as Sebastian jutted his hips forward, their pelvises flush. He gasped in approval, eagerly bucking his hips to rub their heated flesh together. He couldn't help himself. The alcohol mixed with the risque situation was stirring him up more quickly than usual, and his impending release was already coiling tightly in his stomach.

"Ahh, _shit_ … Creads, you feel so _good…_ " Sebastian moved his hips in time with MacCready's, their dicks rubbing against one another, the heated friction making MacCready's head foggier than it already was. Desperate for more, MacCready slid his hand between their bodies, circling his fingers around both of their throbbing lengths and pumping in time with their thrusts. Sebastian let out a needy groan, closing his hand over MacCready's and kissing him deeply.

Their pace became more frantic as they neared their mutual release. Fleetingly MacCready wondered how in the world they could explain away the mess they were aiming to make but he quickly abandoned that thought and all others when Sebastian grabbed his ass, pulling him even closer, jerking his hips as if he were well and truly fucking him. MacCready moaned into Sebastian's mouth, pumping their twitching cocks together with a mildly trembling hand.

Their mouths pulled apart, panting against each others lips. Sebastian pressed their foreheads together, glancing down briefly at their cocks, flushed tips gleaming with precum.

"Seb, I'm gonna… gonna… _ahh_ …"

"Me too, babe. _Hah_ … just a little… more…"

With his free hand MacCready grabbed the back of Sebastian's head, threading his fingers in the vault-dweller's hair. Sebastian's lids dropped, long lashes brushing his sun-kissed cheeks, his mouth half open and flushed. He clenched his teeth, brows knitting in pleasure. Feeling the tight cluster in his stomach unravel and snap, MacCready shoved his face into Sebastian's shoulder, muffling his cry of release. Sebastian held MacCready tightly as he came, grunting into his hair as he followed suit. Thick spurts of sticky warmth coated their hands, the sensation sending violent tremors through MacCready's body. He felt as though his mind had been wiped completely blank. For several moments, the two of them leaned against one another, fighting to get their breath back.

"You know…" MacCready breathed, pulling away just enough to survey the mess they'd successfully made, "most guys who'd just thrown back four beers wouldn't be able to get it up, much less do all that. You really are something, you know that?"

"The day I can't get it up for you is when I'm dead," Sebastian chuckled, speech slurred, leaning in to plant a chaste kiss on MacCready's lips. In the afterglow, it was hard not to find Sebastian adorable. Or maybe it was the booze.

"So romantic," MacCready laughed. He grimacing at the sticky substance covering his hand, fighting the urge to wipe it off on his shirt. "How do you propose we clean up?"

As for an answer, Sebastian grabbed a dirty towel off of the table and began wiping off his hand, offering half of it to MacCready. The latter recoiled as if he'd been struck.

"You expect me to use that? It's _filthy_ , I'm not putting that on my dick!"

Sebastian grinned. "S'either that or march on past everyone with your pants down to get the clean towels from the bedroom."

MacCready frowned, honestly debating the matter for a hot second before snatching up half of the towel and scrubbing his hand off on it.

"This is the _last_ time we fool around in the garage." he muttered.

"Let's not be hasty, now," Sebastian answered, interrupting MacCready's progress with another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~I'm running out of song lyrics to name my chapters. Why did I chose such a short song whyyy~~
> 
> Can synths get drunk?? Who knows. Curie is adorable when she’s drunk so I’m saying yes. Well, the Gen 3’s can, anyway. Sorry Nick.  
> The chapters to come are going to get kinda spoiler heavy in terms of the main story and the goings-on in the factions: BOS, Railroad and Institute in specific. Just a heads up.
> 
> Also, anyone interested in seeing what Sebastian actually looks like? I realized I haven't posted anything of him. Here's a video of him and Creads chatting pre-romance. [Just look at these idiots.](https://youtu.be/h9E3eisDdiA)


	8. Oh, what can I say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MacCready gets a little insight in a very high place.

MacCready hated Danse.

Maybe hate was too strong. _Intense-dislike_. Teetering on hate. Proper titles aside, he hated having Danse along with them in the Commonwealth. There was no subtlety to be had when Danse was clunking alongside them, alerting the entire world to their position. He could compensate for that, though.

Mostly, he hated the way Danse looked at Sebastian.

Wind was whistling loudly over the flight deck, making hat-wearing a difficult task. MacCready's was currently stuffed in the pocket of his duster for safekeeping. The whirling blades of the vertibird didn't help. Glancing over the railing, MacCready realized just how far up they really were. He didn't fancy being up so high. The Prydwen made him uncomfortable, though he wasn't sure if it was the height or the company that made him feel that way.

Paladin Danse stomped along in front of him, heading for the door on the upper deck. Sebastian matched his pace, tightly holding his fedora down to prevent it from being whipped off his head. "I made the right call about you, soldier. Elder Maxson will be glad to know how much you've contributed to our cause."

Sebastian sniffed. It seemed like a gesture of cockiness but MacCready knew it was Sebastian's dislike of the title 'soldier'. "I aim to impress, Danse. Don't talk me up too much, though, I'd hate to outshine you."

Danse laughed. "That would be a good problem to have, I think. With you here, I feel like we have a real shot at taking down the Institute. You can be as impressive as you want until then."

"Can do. Say, does Maxson need to see me right away? I need to take care of some things before I head in. You can give him the report, right?"

"I suppose that isn't an issue." Danse replied, stopping by the door. He turned around - a comical feat in such a bulky suit - and shot MacCready a judgmental scowl. "Maybe on our next mission, we can leave your associate behind. The Brotherhood isn't fond of working with the Commonwealth's more… _unsavory_ civilians."

MacCready tensed, his hands drawing into fists at his sides. "You know what, Danse?" he began through his teeth.

Sebastian clicked his tongue and tapped his hand against MacCready's chest before he could finish that thought. MacCready wasn't sure what sort of magic that gesture held over him, but somehow it made him sheath his claws.

"Play nice, Danse. MacCready has earned my _complete_ trust. That should be good enough."

Danse cleared his throat, glancing away. "I didn't mean anything by it. Just speaking from experience." He looked back, only at Sebastian, always at Sebastian. As if MacCready simply wasn't there. "I'll inform Elder Maxson of our success. He'll probably want to speak with you later, though."

Sebastian flippantly touched his brow with two fingers. "Roger that. I'll report back later."

"See you inside," Danse said before pulling open the door and entering the Prydwen.

Stepping away from the door, Sebastian placed a hand on MacCready's shoulder and navigated them away from the upper deck. As they walked, he let out an exasperated sigh.

"Getting kinda feisty, aren't we?" Sebastian asked, pulling a cigarette from his pocket. His arm slid over MacCready's shoulders, his other producing a lighter and struggling to light his cigarette in the wind. "That could've ended poorly."

"I can't help it," MacCready replied crossly, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I have a limit, you know. That guy is a complete asshole."

Sebastian grinned, exhaling smoke with a pleasant sigh. "Ah, I love this new cursing thing you're doing. It's my absolute favorite."

MacCready groaned miserably. "I'm not _trying_ to, I swear."

"Hey, Duncan will hear none of this from me, promise. Our little secret." Sebastian steered them toward the far end of the flight deck, stealing a quick kiss once they were well out of eye-shot from the Knights and scribes occupying the deck. He released MacCready and leaned against the railing, blowing more smoke through his lips.

"How long are you gonna keep this up?" MacCready asked quietly, leaning his forearms on the railing and looking out at the Commonwealth. "I'm not sure I can keep myself from punching Danse in the face the next time he makes some off-handed remark."

"Sorry you have to put up with it." Sebastian said. "Danse isn't all bad, honestly. Not as bad as the rest of them, anyway."

"You actually _like_ that military monkey?" MacCready asked with a frown. "Seriously?"

"He means well. I think. Maxson's got a flair for inspiring people, I'll give him that. Danse seems a little more chivalrous than the rest of them, despite his weirdo ideals."

MacCready stood up straight, crossing his arms. "Since when has chivalry _ever_ mattered to you?" he demanded, perhaps a tad too waspishly. Sebastian glanced at MacCready with raised brows.

"Creads, don't tell me you're jealous?"

MacCready wanted to adamantly deny it, but his arms were crossed and his body was tilted against the wind in the most passive-aggressive posture he could possibly muster. He sighed, looking away. "It's just hard to gauge how much is acting and how much is sincere whenever you're around him. Danse _likes_ you, you know. He trusts you."

"Yeah, that's the point," Sebastian said, flicking his butt over the side of the railing. "I'm _using_ them, Creads. Just because I can tolerate Danse a little more than the rest doesn't mean I'm going to decide I wanna stick around. If Danse wants to come to his senses and jump ship with us at the end of this, I won't stop him. But chances are he's not gonna be happy when he finds out I'm working with the Railroad, and using him and his buddies for their resources."

MacCready felt slightly sour for acting so childishly, and aggravated with himself for still feeling jealous. "I don't like how he looks at you, I guess." MacCready admitted, his arms uncurling and falling awkwardly to his sides. "Having to watch it and not being able to say anything is infuriating."

Sebastian blinked at him. "He looks at me a certain way?" He grinned. "No way, that square? I woulda pegged him for a virgin."

"You didn't notice?" MacCready asked, confused.

"No, not really. My radar is sorta out-of-commission now that we're together. No need for it anymore, right?" Sebastian put his hands on MacCready's hips and pulled him close, kissing him softly. MacCready hadn't noticed how cold his lips were until Sebastian's warm mouth was covering his, the faint taste of tobacco lingering just on the edges. He kissed back, his chest fluttering shamelessly until Sebastian pulled away.

"Sorry," MacCready breathed, enjoying the warmth of Sebastian's body so near. "I'm being dumb. It's just hard pretending to go along with all this. That's selfish, though. I know it's harder on you."

"Naw. Lying is fun." Sebastian rested his head on MacCready's shoulder, sighing. "I'm sorry you have to get dragged along for it. This is _my_ burden. I finally have an opportunity to get into the Institute, and I don't care what I have to do to make that happen. The Brotherhood just happens to have the best stuff and the biggest guns." He sighed again, longer this time. "I want to find Shaun."

"I know," MacCready wrapped his arms around Sebastian's shoulders, pressing a kiss to his hair. "I wanna be here. Your burdens are my burdens, no question. You helped me save my son, Seb. You think I wouldn't do _anything_ to help you save yours?"

Sebastian lifted his head, smiling. "Shit, Creads. Have I told you today that I love you?"

"Maybe. S'been a long day."

"Yeah, it has." Sebastian kissed MacCready again, fleetingly, and the two of them leaned against the railing in silence for a time, the cool breeze painting a sharp blush on their skin. Finally, an inquiry popped into MacCready's mind.

"Seb, tell me something. What exactly don't you like about the Brotherhood of Steel?"

Sebastian scoffed. "Where to even start? The military structure, first off. I've had enough of that to last me a lifetime. Or in my particular case, _several_ lifetimes. And their attitude regarding ghouls and synths… I just can't get behind that. Maybe if the Brotherhood had snatched me fresh from the vault and convinced me that all synths were evil kill-bots and all ghouls were brain-eating zombies, I might have gone along with it. But after meeting Nick, and then Hancock…" he shook his head. "The Brotherhood is dangerous. I saw first-hand what happens when too much technology is placed in the hands of people with closed-minded ideals and a thirst for power. I don't want to see it happen again."

"Can I say something that might come off the wrong way?" MacCready asked, closing his hands together. "It kind of surprises me how sympathetic you are towards synths and robots. Didn't you come from a time when robots were made to serve humanity? They didn't even look human, did they?"

Sebastian rested his chin in his hand, glancing up at the moon. "You wanna hear a story about 9-year old Sebastian Hibberford?" he asked. MacCready nodded. He'd never heard anything about Sebastian's childhood. He kept most everything that happened before he married Nora close to the chest.

Sebastian stood up and turned away from the scenery, leaning back against the railing. "I always had a fierce interest in robotics. Taking machines apart, putting them back together. Tinkering, that sort of thing. My dad owned a line of car manufacturing plants, so there's a good chance that might've been the culprit."

"Seriously? Is one of your dad's plants here in Boston?" MacCready asked.

"No, but there was one in Virginia, where we lived at the time. I used to go with my dad all the time. They had these Mister Handy robots there, you know, before they became really mainstreamed for home use? Well, I was really interested in them. I used to try and talk to them, but my dad would always stop me. He'd rush me off, telling me not to bother them. Wanted them to keep working. Makes sense, of course. He bought them to work for him, not to chat with his son."

As he spoke, Sebastian reached into his jacket for another cigarette, putting it between his lips but leaving it unlit. "I couldn't let it go, though. We created these cool machines that could talk, why not test their intelligence? Who _wouldn't_ want to carry on a conversation with a robot, right? So I kept trying. My dad would always catch me and steer my ass back to the office. I kept at it. Even the _Mister Handys_ tried to urge me to listen to my dad. I ignored them, and just kept asking questions. Tried talking to them like I'd talk to my friends at school. But I guess I tried one too many times. The next time my dad caught me bothering them, he slapped me in the face and dragged me to the office, locking me inside."

Noticing MacCready's worried expression, Sebastian waved a hand dismissively in the air. "My dad wasn't a violent guy, I totally deserved it. Imagine me, exactly as I am, just smaller. I would've slapped me too." He chuckled. "That isn't the point, anyway. I heard an argument out on the floor, and listened at the door. The Mister Handy I'd been trying to talk to was talking to my dad, and he was telling him it was _his_ fault. Told him he'd been the one talking to _me_ , that he'd encouraged me to chat with him."

"It lied?" MacCready asked quizzically. "Did your dad believe it?"

"Not even close," Sebastian laughed. "When I heard that, I was stunned. Why would a service robot lie about something like that? Up until then, I'd thought it was like a game. A really expensive toy. It could talk, but only because someone programmed it to. I wanted to see what kinds of things it would say, like it was a fucking science experiment. But no one programmed it to stand up for me, or lie for me. I just couldn't wrap my mind around it."

"What happened to the Mister Handy after that?" MacCready asked.

Sebastian sighed. "What else? Dad sent it back to the manufacturer. Defective, he said. And maybe it was, I don't know. All I know is that I decided at that moment that artificial sentience is not to be fucked with. I don't split hairs. If something can think for itself, make choices, I won't treat it any differently than I'd treat a human. Of course, waking up 200 years into the future and meeting something like Nick was like a dream come true. And it only affirmed how I felt."

MacCready grinned. "You were kind of taken with Nick at first, I think." he teased. "Now I know why."

"Are you kidding me? Of _course_ I was. A _robot detective_? I had a serious obsession with the Silver Shroud as a kid, too, so Nick was basically my entire childhood come to life." He flicked his cigarette between his teeth. "That cheapens it a bit, though, saying it like that. That's how it started, but it's not like that anymore. He's a trusted friend, not a manifestation of my childhood whimsy." He grinned, top row of teeth gleaming. "Though I did want to take him apart when we first met. Not like, maliciously. Just curious what made him tick." Sebastian coughed stiffly into his hand. "Yeah, don't tell him I said that."

"For the right price, my lips are sealed," MacCready chuckled.

"Blackmail, huh? Cheap shot," Sebastian laughed, finally lighting his cigarette. "Anyway. I hope that clears up some stuff. On why I hate the Brotherhood, and why you have nothing to worry about when it comes to… Uhh, _certain members_ of said Brotherhood."

MacCready stretched his arms over his head, his spine popping pleasantly. "I was never worried. I trust you. It's him I don't trust." He chuckled. "I guess I'm just selfish. I don't like it when you give him attention."

Sebastian laughed, catching MacCready around the neck with his arm and pulling him in close, cigarette squeezed precariously between two fingers. "You're so cute when you're possessive."

"H-hey, Seb, cut it ou-"

"I had a cat like that when I was a kid. Actually, you remind me of him a little."

"Don't compare me to a cat!" MacCready laughed, desperately trying to wrestle away from Sebastian's grip. "I don't even _like_ cats." He ducked away from Sebastian's hold only to be caught around the waist and pulled back, kissed squarely on the mouth. The cigarette was lost in the struggle, flying carelessly over the railing.

As MacCready twined his arms around Sebastian's neck - heedless of who might be watching them - he realized with startling clarity how far and hard he'd fallen. Maybe heights weren't the problem after all. It was definitely the company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Silly ~~Buzz~~ Danse, are you seriously so blind ~~betrayal~~? How can you not tell that those two are together, they make out like every 10 minutes
> 
> Ever since I maxed out Danse's approval, almost every time I talk to him he tries to give Seb another stab at romancing him. He wants Seb's D so bad. Sorry Danse, Seb is a faithful man. Err, about as faithful as Seb can be, anyway.
> 
> Expect things to get pretty sticky from here on out in terms of the factions. Being a triple-agent isn't a cakewalk, you know.


	9. Need more sleep than coke

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seb has been gone for 4 days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **MAJOR main story spoilers beyond this point**. I'm not messing around. If you haven't played the main campaign of Fallout 4 yet, the rest of this fic will spoil more than a few things for you. Last warning!

In retrospect, it was the worst, most frustratingly vague plan MacCready had ever been a part of. He hadn't realized it until Sebastian had left. Once he'd left, MacCready felt a strong panic begin to crawl up his throat as the minutes ticked on. Minutes turned into hours and hours into days, and the panic had become a full-fledged scream that was stillborn on his tongue.

The Mercer Safehouse was still in a sorry state, but it had a useful empty expanse of concrete that was ideal for building the teleporter. If the Railroad was good for anything, it was their homely resourcefulness. Tinker Tom had gotten the teleporter up and running four days and six hours ago, and Sebastian had left almost immediately after. MacCready had never been so unhappy staying safely on the sidelines. He'd promised Sebastian he'd help him find his son at any cost, but once they'd found a way to infiltrate the Institute, MacCready couldn't follow. Sebastian told him it would be fine, he told him he'd return soon. Four days later, they'd gotten no word. There was no way of telling if Sebastian was okay, there was no rendezvous point, there was no plan B. The phrase "one-way trip" was being tossed around like it was nothing. Everything was uncertain and MacCready felt like an absolute mess.

"Here." MacCready looked up to see a beer swaying in front of him, beads of condensation clinging to the glass. "S'been in the cooler, nice and cold for once."

MacCready took the beer, offering Hancock a lukewarm smile as the ghoul took a seat next to him on the bench. His gaze quickly fell back to his lap. "Thanks."

"You look a little rough." Hancock observed. "Have you gotten _any_ sleep?"

"Some," MacCready sighed, taking a long drink of his beer in hopes that Hancock would change the subject. He didn't. "I'm _fine_ , Hancock."

"If you were fine, I'd personally kick your ass for being a sociopathic asshole. That's _Seb's_ job, last I checked." Hancock replied with a grin. "It's normal to be worried. Just don't make yourself sick or Seb will kick _my_ ass."

MacCready rubbed the back of his neck. "Did Seb tell you to keep an eye on me?"

"Something like that," Hancock said, taking a swig of his own beer. "He just told me to make sure you don't pull your hair out."

"No hair-pulling yet. I'm considering it, though, if he doesn't come back pretty soon." He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. "I just hate staying here with zero information. I imagined this was going to go so differently… I thought a 'teleporter' meant that Seb could zip over there, blow everyone's heads off, grab Shaun and then zip right back. But he can't just zip right back, and we have no idea where the Institute _is_ let alone how to leave without help." He held his face in his hands. "It's been _days_. Where the hell is he?"

Hancock rested a hand on MacCready's shoulder. "Not much I can say to make you feel better, I'm afraid. Just have faith in Seb, okay? We've both seen him shoot up more raiders and super mutants then we can count just because he had a _bad day_. If anyone can handle himself, it's him."

"I know." MacCready agreed, though it did little to sooth his nerves. There was still the matter of four long days fanning his anxiety. "Still."

"I know it ain't a great way to deal with it, but…" Hancock raised his beer and clinked it against MacCready's. "Drink up, MacCready. If I can't cheer you up, I can at least help you drink yourself stupid."

.

.

.

He wasn't sure what woke him up. He was used to having nightmares and stress dreams - especially over the last few days - but he was almost positive he'd been too drunk to conjure up dreams of any kind. Still, he was staring wide-eyed at the cracked roof, his head pounding with the threat of a hangover.

With a groan, MacCready sat up, looking around. To his left, Hancock was sleeping soundly in a sleeping bag, an empty bottle of whiskey near his head. Curie and Piper were on the opposite side of the room occupying their own sleeping rolls, and Nick was nowhere to be seen. MacCready rolled out of bed, struggling unsteadily to his feet. He needed to piss. And possibly vomit. Mostly, he needed fresh air. He needed to stop thinking.

Carefully stepping outside, MacCready navigated his way unsteadily to a dilapidated car perched just behind the main house, which had more-or-less been serving as the men's bathroom for the last several days. He'd just gotten done relieving himself when a loud snapping, crinkling sound caught his attention, like a severed electrical wire. His gun in his hand, MacCready followed the sound around the house, a bright, jagged light - like a lightening bolt - catching his eye. The light struck the ground with a tremendous sound and dissipated just as quickly, leaving a figure in its place. MacCready felt his gun hand tremble and his heart lodge in his throat. He briefly thought he might be dreaming, but his dreams were never this kind.

"Seb?"

The figure looked in MacCready's direction and then stumbled, dropping to his hands and knees. MacCready broke into a run, kneeling next to the vault-dweller and frantically checking him over with his eyes. It was Sebastian, _all_ of him, intact and bullet-free, the only change being four days worth of scruff on his jaw that he usually had trimmed.

"Seb, are you okay?" MacCready cried, a hand braced on Sebastian's back.

Sebastian coughed, his breath coming in slower drags. He sputtered a laugh. "A-Ok, Creads. Miss me?"

MacCready felt a happy sob spill from his lips. He threw his arms around Sebastian's neck, hugging him fiercely. "You asshole!" he laughed, burying his face in the crook of Sebastian's shoulder as the other held him tight. He took a deep breath, catching an oddly sterile scent on the vault-dweller's skin. "Of _course_ I missed you… I've been going out of my damn mind!"

"Didn't mean to make you worry," Sebastian said humorously. "I woulda come back sooner if I could have."

MacCready pushed away, holding fistfuls of Sebastian's coat in his hands. "Where have you been this whole time? What was that weird light? Where's Shaun?" MacCready glanced down at the thick material clenched in his hands, realizing for the first time what Sebastian was wearing. "And is this… _Maxson's_ coat?"

Sebastian grinned, but his eyes looked tired. "Yeah. A lot's happened. I'll catch you up, but I need a beer first. Maybe three. And sloppy sex with you, if we can swing it. Actually, can we skip straight to that part?"

.

.

.

"Shaun… _runs_ the Institute?" MacCready repeated numbly. Any other time, MacCready might have assumed Sebastian was full of it, but he knew the one thing Sebastian wouldn't joke about was his son.

"This is getting more and more complicated, is it not?" Curie said worriedly. Nick snubbed his cigarette on the floor next to his boot, his expression grave.

Hancock absently scratched the back of his head. "Seb, I… Geez, I don't know what to say. Not sure if I should be offering condolences or congratulations." he said.

Sebastian offered a wan smile. "I'm not either. Don't worry about it."

"Lemme see if I have this all straight," Piper was pacing the room, her hands extra animated what with the lack of writing material. "The Institute is pumping out synths like batches of freshly-baked cookies, your son is the head chef, you've been running errands for the restaurant and you're now officially the head chef-in-training?"

"The cooking metaphors are starting to give me a headache," Sebastian groaned.

Piper brandished a finger in his direction. "You can't seriously be siding with the Institute, right? After everything they've done, everything _we've_ done?"

"I'm not on _anyone's_ side, Pipes," Sebastian countered. "I was using the Brotherhood to find a way into the Institute, but that took care of itself and we're no longer on the _best_ terms. Maybe it had something to do with me killing Maxson. As for the Railroad, I'm all for their cause but they were still just a means to an end. And the Institute…" Sebastian shook his head. "I don't have any plans to run the place anytime soon, if that's what you're worried about."

Piper's expression softened. "Sorry, Blue. I shouldn't be tossing around accusations after what you've been through."

"S'okay. I understand why."

Nick stood up, clapping his hands together. "Alright everybody. I know we're all excited, but Seb, you look tired as hell. You should _all_ get some rest before sun-up. We've got a whole new slew of problems to deal with, after all."

MacCready was silently thankful for Nick's suggestion. As everyone dispersed, MacCready pulled Sebastian's hand, keeping him close.

"Hey, Seb… About Shaun…"

Sebastian stole a kiss before MacCready could finish. For days now, MacCready had been frightened he'd never get to kiss the vault-dweller ever again, but now… Now, it felt hollow somehow. As though Sebastian was simply trying to silence him. It hurt his heart in the strangest way.

Sebastian pulled away with a tame smile.

"Nick was right, I'm exhausted. Rain check on the sloppy sex, yeah?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I RISEEEE
> 
> Sorry for the wait, the holidays sort of took over for a while so I haven't been writing. I'm getting back into the swing of things finally, but updates might come a little more slowly now that I'm balancing several unfinished fics and now a COMIC because I'm totally a good multi-tasker and can totally get all of this stuff done without losing my mind :'DDDD


	10. Fed up with all that LSD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When it rains it pours, or so the saying goes.

MacCready kept Sebastian sober, not honest. Hancock kept him honest, not sober. Nick kept him just plain honest, but that didn't usually last for too long. Their powers combined tended to maintain Sebastian as a decent human being, one that didn't sway too far to either side. Currently, Sebastian was without all of them, and he was nowhere to be found.

Although Paladin Danse didn't contribute to Sebastian's moral scale in any way - at least, not that MacCready would care to admit - he and Danse had arrived in Goodneighbor before their companions and were begrudgingly searching for Sebastian together. They hadn't been separated longer than a quarter of an hour before MacCready saw the ex-Brotherhood Knight waving him down outside the Third Rail with purpose. MacCready had been heading that way of course, not at all surprised that his missing vault-dweller had taken refuge in a bar, and just a little miffed that Danse had managed to locate him first.

"You need to get in there," Danse said seriously, brushing his hand over his mouth. He was without power armor today, dressed instead in a battered tan coat, checkered shirt and brown slacks that helped create the illusion that he wasn't just some ex-Brotherhood lackey who would turn up his nose at Goodneighbor and its denizens on any other day. "He's not listening to me."

"What else is new?" MacCready snapped irritably, pushing past Danse. "I'll get him. Guard the door or something, make yourself useful." To his surprise, Danse grabbed his arm before he could open the doors, effectively halting him.

"Hey-"

"Listen, MacCready. I understand that you're not overly fond of me, I get that."

"Point being?"

"Just… I know I'm the last person you'd want to accept advice from, but Sebastian is in a _bad way_ right now. You may have to be a bit forceful."

MacCready shrugged Danse off of him, blood rushing to his cheeks. "You think I don't know how to handle him?" MacCready asked hotly. "Just because Seb saved your sorry synth ass doesn't mean you get to have sudden 'insight' into Seb's personal turmoil. Now really isn't the time to flaunt your misplaced affections, Danse."

Despite the stony expression on his face, Danse noticeably reddened. "Now _also_ isn't the time to be petty. I'm worried about him, same as you. I didn't mean anything else by it."

MacCready sighed, raking fingers through his hair. "Right, right. Truce for now. Just stay out here for now, okay? I'm gonna go get him. It wouldn't be the first time I've pulled him out of a bar kicking and…. well, kicking."

"Keep a gun handy," Danse said. In response to the look MacCready gave him, he added hastily, "Not for _Seb_! The other patrons are fiesty, is all. Be careful."

"Yeah, yeah." MacCready waved him off, opened the doors and left the warm night air behind him.

Immediately he was met with the sounds of glass shattering, rowdy people shouting and cheering, and a cry of pain. Feeling bitter that Danse's advice seemed to be more than accurate after all, MacCready patted the pistol he kept hidden at his hip under his duster and carefully headed down the stairs to deal with whatever the hell situation his lover had gotten himself into.

As soon as he touched the last step, a splintered chair leg flew past him and crashed against the wall, accompanied by enthusiastic whooping. It was hard to see the source of the excitement through the crowd of drunk patrons, but as MacCready worked his way through the ring of people, it very quickly became clear what was going on.

Sebastian and three men were in the middle of the chaos, all of them bloody and vaguely unsteady, circling each other like hungry dogs. Two of the men were sporting broken chair legs, the last holding a knife. Sebastian only seemed to be armed with a grin and his fists, knuckles torn up and bloody. MacCready's stomach tightened at the sight. It wasn't as though he had never seen Sebastian bloody before, but right now it was different. It was self-destructive, it was desperate. A small part of MacCready was frustrated that Sebastian chose to drink and fight his sorrows away opposed to just asking him for help or taking comfort in his lover. He felt oddly disposable, and a moment later he felt guilty for making something like this all about him when he knew damn well it wasn't.

"Seb-"

"You're gonna get it, you fuckwit!" one of the men roared, swinging his chair leg and rushing Sebastian. The vault-dweller weaved out of the way with alarming ease and landed a punch under the man's ribs on his right side. The other two flanked him but Sebastian was too quick for them, clocking one of them in the jaw and ducking out of the way of the other's knife. He laughed, frantic and giddy, blood shining on his teeth.

" _Seb_!" MacCready tried again, louder and more impatient. Sebastian's eyes flicked to MacCready in the crowd, his grin slipping only slightly.

"Hang on Creads, little busy," Sebastian answered, launching himself at the man with the knife and sending them both to the ground. MacCready's jaw tightened. As Sebastian straddled the man and began punching him in the face, the crowd cheered and hooted, blissfully unaware as MacCready pulled the pistol from his hip and aimed it skyward.

Three shots was all it took. Two might've gotten the job done, but MacCready was in a bad mood. The crowd hushed and parted around him. Sebastian punched the man under him one last time before his attention, too, was diverted.

"Sorry to interrupt," MacCready stepped forward to grab Sebastian's arm and yank him to his feet. "I'm kinda in a hurry, right? Show's over. Everyone just get back to your drinks."

The men Sebastian had been fighting were wiping themselves off and seeing to their wounds but they all looked vaguely unsatisfied with this outcome, so MacCready made sure to hasten their departure lest they decide they weren't finished yet. He pulled Sebastian along, offering fleeting hellos to a couple of regulars he used to know before starting off up the stairs, Sebastian stumbling to keep up, grunting in displeasure. He snapped to his senses and struggled once they'd reached the top of the stairs.

"Creads, come oooon. I can take those guys, let me-"

"Don't even _start_. We've been looking for you for _the better part of today_ , and you were getting drunk and _brawling_?" MacCready stopped, keeping a firm hold on Sebastian's arm and looking him squarely in the eyes. The vault-dweller's pupils were like pinpoints in a sea of hazel. "Not just booze, either. What is it? Psycho? Can't be Jet, you're too pumped up."

"What the fuck does it matter?" Sebastian rebutted angrily, yanking his arm away from MacCready with alarming strength. "Am I not allowed to have some alone time?"

"That's not the issue. You _know_ it's not. You can't just disappear like that. Not with everything that's going on."

Sebastian teetered slightly on the spot, his face contorting with anger. "Seems like the perfect time to me," he said darkly. "And who the hell gave you the authority to decide that, huh?"

MacCready reclaimed Sebastian's arm, pulling him a little more forcefully toward the door. This time, Sebastian put up no resistance. "Let's say I've earned it." he growled. He thought he could hear footsteps on the stairs just as he pushed the door open. "I'll forgive your unbelieveable douchiness since you're drunk, high and covered in blood, but for now, we have to _move_."

Danse was waiting for them when they exitted, watching worriedly as MacCready pulled Sebastian through the door. MacCready irritably waved him off, gesturing to move quickly. Wasting no time, the three of them hurried down the road and veered off into a vacant alley.

Just as soon as they were out of sight, Sebastian slipped from MacCready's grip and shoved him against the nearest wall, holding him tight by the collar. Danse made an uncomfortable sound nearby, but seemed to know better than to interfere. MacCready shoved Sebastian off, his muscles tense, his heart threatening to tear its way out of his chest.

"What is your _problem_?" he demanded furiously. Sebastian turned away from him, breathing deep through his nose. MacCready grabbed his shoulder from behind and turned him, half expecting to be punched. Instead, Sebastian's eyes were downcast and sullen, his shoulders sagging reflexively under MacCready's grip. He seemed to have come back to himself, his earlier adrenaline and anger ebbing to be replaced with guilt. MacCready knew the feeling. His fingers curled over Sebastian's shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

"Hey. Talk to me, Seb? Please?"

Sebastian sucked a deep breath in through his nose and let it out slowly between his lips. He absently wiped his bloody chin on the back of his hand.

"I'm sorry, Creads. Fuck, I'm… I'm sorry."

MacCready carefully took Sebastian's face in his hands. "Don't apologize. Just talk."

Sebastian sighed shakily. His eyes were trained on the ground, his tongue swiping over his front row of teeth. A wordless moment passed, though it didn't seem like Sebastian was avoiding the subject. It looked like he was trying to find the words.

"I don't…" He sighed resignedly. "...Shaun's dying."

MacCready felt his blood turn to ice. He thought he'd been prepared for most things that may have come out of Sebastian's mouth, but this wasn't one of them. He fell completely mute, his arms falling slowly back to his sides.

"Cancer." Sebastian continued, a lump in his throat trembling as he spoke. "All the technology in what's left of the world, and he's dying of cancer. Ironic, right?"

MacCready met eyes with Danse over Sebastian's shoulder, and the ex-Brotherhood soldier seemed just as shocked at the news. After a silent moment, Danse averted his gaze and stealthily left the alley to give the two of them time alone. For the first time, MacCready felt a small swelling of gratuity for the synth bastard.

Sebastian turned away, wandering just out of reach. He stopped in front of the alley wall, resting his palm against the sheet metal.

"I feel like I've filled my quota of "impossible shit I've had to adapt to" in my lifetime. Losing my wife, being frozen for 200 years, that sucked. My son being the benevolent, dictatorial leader of a fancy post-apocalyptic terrorist organization, that sucked hard. Him being _terminal_ is where I draw the fucking line."

"Seb, I…. really don't what to say. I'm _so_ sorry."

Sebastian shook his head. "I guess it doesn't really matter. I was going to betray him anyway, wasn't I?" He laughed, his voice thick. "It's all so goddamn fucked up."

"You weren't going to… to _kill_ him, Seb," MacCready reasoned. "You were gonna get him out of it alive."

"Yeah. So much for that, now." Sebastian answered. He turned. MacCready felt a catch in his throat seeing his face, an expression wracked with guilt and pain; he knew that look, he knew that feeling, powerlessness and grief entwined together.

MacCready was at a complete loss. He didn't know how to make things better, he _never_ knew how to make things better. Sebastian had always been so far out of his reach. No matter how close they became, he was always 200 years away. MacCready had experienced pain and loss, but he would never know the feeling of being ripped from one time and thrown into another, losing not only his loved ones but his entire sense of familiarity with the world. The one hope Sebastian had to hold onto was finding Shaun. Even that was being denied him. It wasn't fair.

"He named me as his successor, to top things off." Sebastian continued, his eyes glossy and his voice still thick with emotion. "Because he _trusts_ me. My terminally ill son trusts me not to stab him in the back and bring down his organization." He raked his hands through his hair. "I don't…" he exhaled another shaky sigh. "I don't know what to _do_ , MacCready."

It reminded MacCready of the private moment he'd glimpsed many months ago with Hancock, the moment he wasn't meant to see. It had been more than intimacy, he knew that now. It was something peeled back. It was loneliness, it was desperation. MacCready was seeing that now in Sebastian's eyes, the look of someone who wants to forget, someone overwhelmed with the hand he's been dealt.  
MacCready stepped forward and pulled Sebastian into a hug, his hat slipping off and dropping to the ground. Sebastian stood motionless, his arms uselessly hanging at his sides, but MacCready only held him more tightly. He knew Sebastian wasn't trying to reject him. He could feel his muscles tensing and trembling, he could feel them collectively loosen a moment later as his shoulders sagged from the relief. Slowly his arms raised to hug MacCready back, and soon his face was buried in the crook of MacCready's shoulder, his breath coming out in rough gasps as he quietly cried. MacCready held him tight, determined never to let go, willing to try and shoulder as much of Sebastian's pain as he was able.

They stayed like that for some time, how long MacCready wasn't sure because he wasn't counting. He closed his eyes and listened to Sebastian's breath and heartbeat until they had both calmed.

"I'm sorry," Sebastian murmured miserably into MacCready's neck. MacCready just shook his head.

"S'okay. Don't apologize. I just want to be here for you."

"No, I was being a fuckwad. At least call me a fuckwad."

MacCready's lips pulled into a small smile. "Okay, okay. You're a fuckwad."

Sebastian chuckled. "Made you curse," he joked weakly, gripping MacCready more tightly. MacCready pressed a kiss to his temple in reply. Sebastian breathed in deeply through his nose, loosening his grip. "Thank you, Creads. For putting up with me."

"Hey, it's a living." They pulled away from each other slowly, keeping hold of each other's arms as if they were preparing to take a leap. MacCready looked into Sebastian's reddened eyes with purpose. "Seb, listen… I don't know exactly what you should do, but running from it all isn't going to solve anything. You can still save Shaun. I know you, you're no quitter."

"Not sure if it's about quitting or not anymore," Sebastian admitted dolefully. "I think it might have escalated way beyond that."

"Maybe it's more about acceptance, then." MacCready offered gently, squeezing Sebastian's arm. After a contemplative silence, Sebastian nodded.

"Yeah."

"We should get out of here. Everyone's worried about you, they'll want to see-"

Before MacCready could finish he was being swept up in a kiss, urgent but sweet, peppered with longing. The spontaneity of it made the pit of MacCready's stomach flutter with relief. He clutched the front of Sebastian's slightly bloodied jacket, feeling the vault-dweller's fingers tread through his hair. MacCready tasted the metallic tang of blood on Sebastian's lips and the booze on his tongue; together they created a familiar flavor, a certain brand of something that suited Sebastian in a strange way.

They pulled apart a second time, breathing against one another's mouths.

Sebastian pressed their foreheads together. "I love you. I mean it, I'm crazy in love with you, MacCready." Sebastian spoke softly. Not like a secret. A promise, maybe. "I definitely don't deserve you. But I'm glad you're here, regardless."

"That's _my_ line, asshole," MacCready rebutted with a smirk. "Come on. I never thought I'd say this, but: let's not keep Danse waiting."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see! I haven't been writing too much lately, but I'm fixing to change that, so here's a chapter. I think I only have 2 or 3 chapters of this fic left to go! You know, this fic is a lot less smutty and lot more angsty than I was expecting.


	11. I know you can carry on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it really alright?

Lots of blinding white, the smell of antiseptic, the sounds of shouting and gunshots. Blood stains on amazingly reflective floors. Synths exploding to pieces. It was hard not to be in awe of the size and cleanliness of the Institute while blowing synth heads off, but it was the smell that was throwing MacCready off the most. He'd never known what 'clean' smelled like before. He didn't think he cared for it.

Sebastian said goodbye to Father - _Shaun_ \- as MacCready watched on in silence. Shaun looked like Sebastian. Had his nose, his chin. His eyes. It was the eyes that MacCready noticed before all else.

In an instant, it was over.

They rigged the place to blow, just like they'd planned. They teleported away to escape with the rest of the railroad, just like they'd planned. There was a child waiting there, calling Sebastian father. He had Sebastian's eyes. They hadn't planned for that. MacCready watched as Sebastian struggled with the decision, knowing he'd break down quicker than MacCready could pull a trigger on a bad day. In that sense, MacCready wasn't disappointed. Sebastian was terrible at following plans anyway.

They teleported away, at a safe distance. MacCready squeezed Sebastian's hand as the Institute went up.

 _Damn_ , did it go up.

 

.

.

.

 

"O-ow, shit, Seb that _hurts…_!"

"Well it wouldn't if you sat still like a _good boy_ and let me do this," Sebastian chuckled, pulling the binds tighter. "Why didn't you tell me you got shot?"

"It isn't the first time," MacCready admitted with a sideways grin. "Besides, you were kind of dealing with a lot, you know? It could have waited til later."

"Clearly," Sebastian finished up bandaging MacCready's arm, checking his work. "It doesn't hurt?"

"Not after the stimpack, no."

"Well, that's a relief." Sebastian snorted and slapped MacCready's knee. "Anyway, put your shirt back on." He suddenly frowned, leaning his forearms on MacCready's knees. "Wait, scratch that. Keep it off, I'm kinda digging this view right now."

MacCready laughed through his nose. "After everything that happened this morning, you still manage to be a complete hornball."

"Your sexiness doesn't take _breaks_ , Creads. I don't make the rules." Sebastian nuzzled MacCready's clothed groin with his lips and nose, causing a shudder and a soft groan from the other. MacCready laced his fingers in Sebastian's hair. "Besides, doing naughty things with you calms me down. Like a drug." He dragged his teeth over MacCready's slowly hardening bulge, his eyes flicking up to regard MacCready's face. MacCready instinctively pulled a sharp breath in through his teeth. His hand played in Sebastian's hair, tugging it eagerly.

"Not the most romantic comparison, but I'll take it." MacCready chuckled.

Sebastian flashed his front row of white teeth in a wheedling grin. "It means I'm _addicted_ to you. Come on, I was trying to be corny. Work with me here."

"If you want me to work, you're going to have to put in some _real_ effort, Seb." MacCready challenged.

"Oh ho?" Sebastian pushed himself up, grazing his lips over MacCready's. "I think I can do that."

A knock at the door froze both men exactly where they were, only their faces turning toward the door in alarm. They exchanged a look.

"Ah… Who goes there?" Sebastian called sarcastically.

"Uhm… D-dad? Can I come in?"

MacCready watched Sebastian's face, noting the minimal changes in his expression when he heard the synth child's voice on the other side of the door. Sebastian quickly steeled himself, clearing his throat and standing upright, smoothing out his shirt.

"Ahh.. Sure, kiddo, come on in."

MacCready pulled a blanket from the bed to haphazardly cover his lap before Shaun opened the door, peeking inside. Dogmeat slid past the boy's legs, trotting into the room and jumping up on the bed.

"What's up?" Sebastian asked, anchoring his hands on his hips. MacCready wasn't used to seeing the vault-dweller so stiff and unsure of himself. Shaun followed Dogmeat into the room, awkwardly wringing his hands.

"I heard Mr. MacCready got hurt." he shifted his eyes to MacCready, still sitting on the bed. "H-hi. Are you okay?"

MacCready smiled. "I'm just fine, your dad here patched me up good as new. And 'MacCready' is fine, no need to be formal."

Shaun smiled back, his shoulders relaxing. "I heard my father call you 'Creads'... Can I call you that, too?"

Sebastian clicked his tongue and wagged a finger. "No dice, kiddo. That's a trademarked nickname right there, owned by yours truly." He smirked. "But when he's being a jerk, you can call him Robert."

"Negative on that last bit, thank you very much." MacCready grumbled.

Shaun grinned. "Nick said you two were real close." he said. "Seeing you guys together like this, it makes sense."

Sebastian knelt down, his eyes meeting the identical eyes of the boy before him. "So… What exactly did Nick say? About the two of us, I mean."

"It's okay, dad." Shaun laughed. "It's fine. I'm glad you have someone who makes you happy. I don't remember mom, so… You know, I'm not upset you moved on, or anything like that."

MacCready sputtered a laugh, and Sebastian quickly followed suit. Sebastian pat Shaun on the shoulder. "You are a very mature kid, you know that? You got that from your mother. _Only_ from her, I regret to inform you."

A content smile pulled at Shaun's lips. "Can we… can we talk about mom later on? Like, can you tell me some things about her?"

MacCready watched Sebastian again for a reaction, but this time he only saw a rare, genuine smile tug at his lips. "Yeah, of course. That sounds good, kiddo." He cleared his throat. "So, uh, Nick showed you the sights, huh? How do you like it here?"

"I love it!" Shaun answered excitedly, his face lighting up. "It's not as… clean as the Institute, but I like it a lot. Everyone's really nice, and playing with Dogmeat is the best! I love having a dog."

"Well, he's certainly taken a shining to you." Sebastian said, glancing at the dog laying on the bed, head between his paws. Sebastian stood up, ruffling Shaun's hair. "I bet folks'll be eating dinner pretty soon. How about you go find Nick and get him to set you up with some food?"

Shaun playfully batted Sebastian's hand away, laughing. "Kay. Will you two come too?"

"In a minute. You go on ahead. And take the mongrel, will you?"

The boy nodded and headed to the door, turning to pat his hand against his knee. Dogmeat obediently jumped off the bed, following after Shaun as if it were his sole purpose in life. When the door closed, Sebastian stood in silence for several moments, staring fixedly at the door. MacCready wasn't sure what to do. He could tell something was wrong, but there were any number of things it could be, all of them undoubtedly involving Shaun.

"Hey," Sebastian finally spoke, raking a hand through his hair, "Is this really okay?"

MacCready frowned. "You're gonna have to be _way_ more specific, Seb. Is _what_ really okay?"

"This," Sebastian continued, spinning a finger uselessly in the air to indicate 'everything'. "Being happy and acting like I _didn't_ just totally murder my son and get a shiny new robot son as a consolation prize."

" _Whoa_ , Seb," MacCready stood up, tossing the blanket back on the bed. "That's no way to talk about Shaun, right?"

Sebastian shook his head. "I didn't mean it like that, I just…" he sighed deeply. "Can we just review the moralistic implications here for a second? Because my personal feelings about this are getting a little fucking skewed."

MacCready bumped Sebastian's shoulder with the top of his head. "Seb, there's nothing to 'review'. I know this situation is kind of… Umm, exceptionally fucked up, but ultimately, that boy out there is your son. End of story. I mean, what are you gonna do, tell him to buzz off after all this?"

"Of _course_ not," Sebastian sighed. He dragged a hand down his face and groaned. "It's just… Think about it, Creads. He thinks he's a real human boy. As much as I'd love to think that too and just let him believe it forever, he's gonna figure out _something's_ up when in ten years he hasn't grown an inch, you know? He can't grow up. His memories are programmed. When I first met him, I was just a scary intruder that stumbled into his room. Today, I'm his dad. I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do about that?" Sebastian backed up until he hit the bed with the back of his knees and proceeded to plop down onto his back, dropping an arm over his eyes. "Am I just supposed to accept that he's my son? Just like that?"

MacCready sat beside Sebastian, nudging him with his knee. "Just like that, yeah," MacCready answered. "Listen. So he's not a human boy, who cares? You've never questioned Nick, Danse or Curie's humanity, not for one second, so why should you start with your own son?"

"But he's _not-_ "

"It's all just semantics!" MacCready accused. "Regardless of how or why he was created, right now he's just a regular kid who's happy to be with his dad. That should be all that matters. You can worry about telling him the truth later, when you're sure he can handle it. And if it really comes down to it, if he wants an adult body, I'm sure we can pull another Curie and get him one. So stop stressing about it and enjoy it! You got your son back, Seb. Focus on that, will you?"

Sebastian sat up, staring curiously into MacCready's eyes. "Firstly, I hate it when you make more sense than me. Secondly… Creads, can I ask you something?"

"Mm?"

"This is really about Duncan, isn't it?"

At the mention of the name, MacCready drew his lips into his mouth and his gaze fell to his knees. "Ahh… Well, yeah, maybe." He sighed resignedly. "Don't get me wrong, all the stuff I said about Shaun, I stand by it. But now that everything's been resolved…"

Sebastian cocked his head, leaning a little closer. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? You know I would have made time to go get him."

"Well, that was the problem," MacCready admitted, scratching the back of his head. "You had enough on your plate. You helped me save Duncan's life. I knew he was safe, but we still didn't know if Shaun was okay or not. I figured there was no sense in making the trip when we were still in so much danger. Now that the Institute has gone up in smoke, though…"

"Creads, say no more." Sebastian slapped his hand against his thigh. "Just as soon as you want, we'll go get him, bring him here. He's living in the Capital Wasteland, right?" He whistled, rubbing his chin. "That'll be a _long_ journey. We'll have to stock up on supplies, I'll talk to Nick and Hancock about coming with us for some extra guns… Neither of them need to eat, so that'll be a load off. Since Danse still owes me one, he can watch the kid, and-"

"Hang on Seb, _jesus_ ," MacCready chuckled, "Slow down. We blew up the Institute a _few hours ago_. You just got your son back. I can't expect you to just-"

There would probably come a day when MacCready tired of Sebastian's habit of cutting him off mid-sentence with a kiss; today was not that day. Sebastian yanked MacCready ontop of him, pulling him down onto the bed. He kissed him slow, deep, scratching his fingers through MacCready's hair. MacCready put up no resistance, plowing Sebastian's mouth with his tongue, whimpering wantonly into his throat.

After several breathless moments, Sebastian broke their kiss, resting their foreheads together. "Shush for a second and let me do this. Shaun is safe here. He might be bummed that we're leaving so soon, but he seems like a reasonable kid. He'll understand." He grinned. "And how can he argue when we tell him we're going to go pick up his little brother?"

MacCready felt an unexpected catch in his throat, and he barely withheld a sob. He twined his arms around Sebastian's neck, hugging him tightly, pressing his face into Sebastian's shoulder.

"Thank you, Seb. _Fuck_ , thank you _so much_ …"

Sebastian hugged him back, nuzzling his neck. "Don't think I'm not gonna spill the beans to Duncan about your potty mouth when we see him," he teased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MY LAST UPDATE WAS IN MARCHHHHHH T_T
> 
> Anyone still around?? Well, I'm here to finish this off, and I actually wrote this chapter several months ago and then jusT FORGOT TO POST IT. The last chapter is almost done, too, so... why the heck didn't I just finish it ;_; 
> 
> OH WELL. TAKE THIS CHAPTER.


	12. I guess the good times, they were all just killing me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MacCready adjusts to life as a husband and father of two, but it's really less of an adjustment and more of a windfall.

"D _aaaa_ d! Come here!"

MacCready glanced toward the open garage door, laying his rifle in his lap. He leaned back in his chair and exchanged a look with Sebastian, who was elbow-deep in some complex hunk of machinery that MacCready couldn't possibly wrap his head around. Regrettably, Sebastian was legitimately busier than him, though the voice that called was Shaun's so the parental obligation to handle things was still up in the air.

"Which one?" Sebastian called back, continuing to dig around in the dangerous pile of metal.

" _You_ , dad!" Shaun answered. Sebastian sighed, glaring accusingly at MacCready's back.

"We're really gonna have to think up something else to call you, Creads. Sharing the 'dad' word is too confusing. How about 'pops'?"

MacCready laughed, disassembling the magazine catch of his gun. "Yeah, no thanks. Maybe when I'm sixty."

"D _aaaaa_ d!"

"Kiddo, I'm kinda busy, could you just come in here and tell me what's up?"

"Already here," Shaun piped from the doorway, his cheeks flushed from running. "I figured you were stuck in some- _Ooh_ , what is that? Fusion generator?" The boy trotted into the garage, circling the mess with a discerning eye.

Sebastian pulled his grease-covered arm out of the mass of machinery, grinning proudly. "Hey now, check _you_ out, apple of my eye, fruit of my loins! You've got a serious eye for this stuff. I should be having you help me out with this thing, I'd go quicker." Sebastian scrubbed his arm off on a towel. "Now what's all the yelling about?"

Shaun looked up from the haphazard metal pieces as if he'd been broken from a trance. "Oh, right." He grabbed Sebastian's hand, tugging insistently on it. "You'll see when you come, dad!" He glanced at MacCready with a smile. "You too, dad!"

"Creads is to officially be called 'pops' from now on, not dad," Sebastian announced importantly.

"Please disregard the idiot to my right," MacCready sighed, setting his rifle aside and standing up.

.

.

.

"...Holy shit."

MacCready didn't have the clarity of mind to correct Sebastian for cursing in front of their children. He was too distracted by the sight of his six-year old son lying on his stomach on a makeshift guard tower, holding a modified hunting rifle under his arm and nailing another mirelurk some fifty feet away. Shaun clapped his hands, beaming in excitement.

" _See_? Isn't he amazing?"

"Hi daddy!" Duncan turned his head and shifted on his belly, offering the men a wave. MacCready lifted his hand but was too stunned to do the waving bit.

"Hey there, Duncan," MacCready started. "Uhh… Say, what are yo-"

"Hold on daddy, there's another one!" Duncan turned back, squinting through the scope before squeezing the trigger again. The bullet whizzed through the air and hit another mirelurk clean through its head. Shaun hopped up and down on the balls of his feet, laughing. Sebastian hissed through his teeth like a tea kettle.

"Holy _SHI_ -"

This time, MacCready caught Sebastian in the stomach with his elbow before he could finish, his husband buckling over like an old lawnchair.

"He's a _natural_! He's killed like fifteen of 'em so far!" Shaun boasted.

"Duncan, honey, come down here, would you? _Carefully_." MacCready instructed, walking over to the ladder to help his son down.

Duncan stood up, handing down the rifle before making his way down the ladder. MacCready turned the gun over in his hands. Custom made, it looked like.

"Who made this gun? Where did you even _get_ it?"

Shaun raised his hand with a sheepish smile. "I used some pieces of junk dad gave me. Is.. is that okay?"

Sebastian patted Shaun on the shoulder, grinning down at him. "Are you serious? Of _course_ it's okay! It's downright badass, actually."

Duncan pulled on MacCready's duster, smiling up at him pridefully. "Did you see, daddy? Did you see me shoot the mean mirelurks?"

MacCready ruffled Duncan's hair, smiling. "You're darn right I did! I'm really proud of you, it's just… Ahh, next time you get the urge to play target practice, come and get one of us first, okay? Shooting lessons need to be with daddy, so we can make sure you're safe."

"Okay," Duncan answered, his cheeks rosy. "Can I go play with Uncle Nick?"

"Sure, if that bucket of bolts isn't busy with something else," MacCready playfully smacked his son's shoulder. "Shaun, hows about you go with him? Make sure he doesn't unleash a wave of destruction on the way?"

"Kay," Shaun laughed, grabbing up Duncan's hand. As the two of them scampered off, Dogmeat hot on their trail, Sebastian punched MacCready in the arm. MacCready cried out in indignance.

" _What_ the-"

"For earlier," Sebastian explained with a smirk. That was the same smirk MacCready remembered seeing in the back room of the Third Rail when they'd first met. Somehow it hadn't changed in all this time.

"Well. You've _got_ to get better about cursing when the kids are around." MacCready stabbed his pointer finger into Sebastian's chest. "At least until they're older, jackass."

"Pardon me for _shitting_ my _pants_ with pride!" Sebastian laughed, grabbing MacCready's finger and MacCready's other hand, leaving him defenseless to a fleeting kiss on his mouth. "It's not everyday I see a kid Duncan's age sniping mirelurks like a pro. He really _is_ your kid, huh?"

"Was there some speculation about that?" MacCready laughed.

"Furthermore, Creads, I have to admit I wasn't expecting you to go all mother hen on him like that."

MacCready narrowed his eyes and clicked his tongue. "Mother hen? I just want to make sure he's _supervised_ when-"

"Who supervised _you_ in Little Lamplight, eh?" Sebastian accused, waggling his eyebrows. "You've told me the stories. Or have you forgotten your days in that creepy Never Never Land of gunslinging children?"

"Yeah, okay. The big difference, though, is that I didn't have a dad around back then. None of us did. Duncan and Shaun have their dads right here, and I just…" He blew a sigh through his lips, pulling off his hat to rake his fingers through his hair. "I wanna make sure I do right by him, now that I have him back. The best I can, anyway, in a world like this."

Sebastian regarded him with raised brows and vaguely apologetic eyes. "Sounds like beer time."

"Yeah, it kinda does," MacCready answered with a weak chuckle.

The two of them hiked over the sandy hill to their house - a real work in progress, but at least it was sturdy and the boys had a room of their own - and they piled inside. Sebastian yoinked two beers from the cooler on the kitchen table and fell into a ragged chair behind the stairs. MacCready plopped down next to him - practically in his lap, considering the chair was more of a loveseat situation - and leaned his head on Sebastian's shoulder as the vault-dweller slung an arm around him, pulling him in closer. He plucked one of the beers from Sebastian's fingers, but didn't attempt to open it.

"Creads… I really shouldn't have to say this, but you're a damn good dad. Like, the best. You don't have anything to worry about there. You fought like hell to keep that kid healthy, you saved his life, and now you get a second chance with him."

"Sounds a little familiar," MacCready said. "Still, I couldn't have saved him without you."

"That _also_ sounds familiar," Sebastian mused. He pressed a kiss to MacCready's neck. "Listen up. You don't have anything to worry about. This world is fucked up and dangerous, but they've got a better chance than most. Who could possibly be more suited to raise a couple of boys than the guys who took down the Institute?"

MacCready shifted his weight, planting his knee against Sebastian's hip to straddle him as best he could on the small sofa chair. He pecked Sebastian's lips and then leaned back enough to open his beer. "You make a good point. But to be honest with you, it's not the 'danger' part that has me worried. It's the… _'dad'_ part. You're right, though. It'll be fine. I'm not melodramatic enough to think that my own lack of a father figure means I can't be a decent one myself." He took a swig of beer, his lip curling at the bitter taste.

Sebastian grinned. "Damn right you can. Damn right you _are_. Creads, you're amazing. Duncan's a lucky kid."

"Yeah?" MacCready took another long gulp of his beer, sighing. "Might be too early to call."

Sebastian gently squeezed MacCready's thigh. "It's just right."

"Are you even comfortable?" MacCready chuckled, peering down at Sebastian over the lip of his beer.

Sebastian slung an arm around MacCready's lower back, pulling him close to lay kisses to his neck. "Babe, I am _always_ comfortable when you're on top of me. No exceptions."

"You lush."

"H _aaaa_ h you love it."

They finished off their beers. MacCready's neck felt warm, the stale alcohol leaving him feeling tingly and light-headed. His eyes traced the curve of Sebastian's square jaw, mapping a path along his neck and the slim peek of his sun-kissed collarbone under his ragged jacket.

Sebastian sighed refreshingly, carelessly tossing his empty bottle aside. "You know," he started, "even if neither of us can be 'the best' dad, I think we have a way better chance together." His eyes rolled upward in thought. "Like, together we make 'mega-dad'. No - ' _ultra_ -dad'! _Our powers combined_ -"

MacCready crushed his mouth over Sebastian's, silencing him. It felt good to be the one cutting _him_ off for once, but his victory was short-lived as Sebastian grabbed his hips and pulled him closer, bucking his hips up and sliding his tongue into MacCready's mouth. MacCready groaned, blindly jabbing his beer can at the table beside them to set it down, grabbing fistfuls of Sebastian's hair once he was successful. The taste of beer was still strong on their tongues.

"Bedroom?" Sebastian breathed against MacCready's mouth. MacCready nodded adamantly, resuming their kissing with fervor. Sebastian's beer fell to the floor and was kicked clumsily aside as Sebastian stood up from the chair, his arms firmly wrapped around MacCready's middle. The two of them stumbled to the stairs, pulling and kissing and grabbing as they haphazardly made their way up, making the sharp turn after the boy's room to their own and blindly shutting the door behind them.

MacCready was immediately slammed against the wall, Sebastian's mouth devouring his lips before he could reclaim his breath. MacCready breathed in deeply through his nose; Sebastian smelled like motor oil and sweat, and he tasted like cigarettes and beer. Somewhere along the way, those scents and flavors had become arousing in of themselves.

Sebastian dropped to his knees, pulling off MacCready's belt and unfastening his slacks in a flurry. The back of MacCready's head hit the wall when Sebastian took his growing erection into his mouth, sucking him off like he sought to pull his soul from his cock. MacCready anchored one hand in Sebastian's hair, the other on the wall as Sebastian consumed him to the hilt. Words failed him. Sebastian brought him to orgasm quickly and with purpose; he knew his husband liked to take the edge off fast and hard when he wanted him for longer sessions.

Coherency all but gone, MacCready felt his muscles turn to soup, his chest heaving, his limbs shaking. He looked down at Sebastian with hazy, half-lidded eyes, and Sebastian met his gaze with a grin, licking his sticky lips.

"We haven't been getting enough 'adult time' lately, have we Creads?"

.

.

.

MacCready woke to the rise and fall of Sebastian's bare chest against his cheek and the beat of his heart in his ear. Nothing compared to such a simple but profound pleasure, especially in a world like theirs. Through his eyelids he could tell the sun was still out - they hadn't been sleeping for too long, which was disappointing but preferable - and although the last thing he wanted to do was move, he figured they should probably get a move on.

He popped his eyes open to find a pair of big brown eyes staring back at him from the bedside. MacCready was grateful that he identified his own son faster than he could identify the gun Sebastian kept under their pillow. His head snapped up, checking to make sure both he and Sebastian were properly covered - oh _good lord_ they actually used the sheets for once, thank _christ_ \- and he relaxed, rubbing his face with his hands.

"Duncan, honey, what-" MacCready cleared his throat, his voice gravelly from sleep, "Everything okay?"

Duncan blinked his round, soft eyes, his chin perched on the edge of the bed, his small fingers gripping the sheets. "Are you and daddy not sleeping now?"

Sebastian groaned and turned on his side, eyes open but bleary. "Aaaaah. Creads, there's a dangerous trespasser in our midst. However did they get past our ironclad defences. Sic 'em, or whatever."

"Naww, I think this one's harmless," MacCready yawned, ruffling his son's messy mop of dark hair. "There something you wanted, kid? We were just about to come down in a minute."

Duncan nodded importantly. "Mhmm. Uhm, Shaun got hurt."

" _What_?" Sebastian snapped up so abruptly that he nearly knocked MacCready out of bed. He grabbed his pants from the floor, pulling them on haphazardly. " _You_ , tiny person, explain. What happened to Shaun, is he okay?"

Duncan looked around, finding the words while tracing his shiny upper lip with his tongue. "Uhmm, his leg got hurt. It wasn't _my_ fault, he was jumping off of stuff. Then his leg got hurt, and Miss Curie told me to go get you."

Sebastian cursed under his breath. MacCready pulled his pants on, his heart thumping in mild panic. He snatched up one of the button-up shirts strewn on the floor - not his, he realized only after throwing it on - and steered his son by the shoulders out of the room.

"Good job, Duncan. You did a real good job telling us. Let's go find them, okay?"

.

.

.

"I _told_ the little scamp to make sure you both knew it wasn't anything serious so you wouldn't get worked up for nothing," Nick said, scratching his cracked scalp and frowning at the impish boy currently being hoisted up under MacCready's arm and comically bounced around. "Duncan, didn't I say to tell 'em it was just a scratch?"

"I did!" Duncan squealed as MacCready flipped him upside down and wiggled him around in his arms.

"You did _not_ ," MacCready teasingly scolded, keeping the boy locked in his arms.

Sebastian was kneeling in front of Shaun, checking Curie's patch job on his scratched knee. He grinned at the boy and playfully slapped his thigh. "You sure you're all good, kiddo?"

"I'm fine," Shaun answered with an awkward smile, flushing from all the attention. "It doesn't even hurt anymore."

"He cried when he fell down," Duncan giggled, his face all pink and his eyes shining when MacCready finally put him back on solid ground.

"No I didn't!" Shaun fired back defensively. " _You_ were the one that was all upset, cause you thought we'd get in trouble!"

"Nooooo," Duncan countered, an obvious lie, grabbing Shaun's arm and pushing his face into the older boy's sleeve. " _You_ did."

"No, _you_ did!"

"Nooooo!"

Sebastian stood up and sighed, offering Curie a grateful smile over the two squabbling boys. "Thanks for fixing him up."

"It was no trouble at all, Monsieur Sebastian." Curie giggled behind her hand. "They really get along like brothers, no?"

MacCready snorted. "Yeah, maybe a little too much," he said, dropping a hand on the top of their heads and mussing their hair until they both whined and playfully swatted at him.

Sebastian's hands were on his hips in a fatherly way that barely suited him. "Now, can you twerps go play _without_ unsupervised gunplay or getting yourselves all banged up? Please?"

"Okaaaay."

As the boys ran off, laughing and shoving each other, Sebastian sighed slowly through his nose. "It was only a scrape. When Duncan told us he'd been hurt, I just naturally assumed the worst… But it was only a little scrape. The kind any kid gets."

"Nice, isn't it?" Nick piped, lighting a cigarette, "Every now and again, something completely ordinary pops up to remind you that life isn't _always_ chaos and misfortune."

Sebastian twined an arm around MacCready's waist, pulling him in close. He gently pressed a kiss to MacCready's jaw, allowing his lips to linger there for a moment, over his pulse. "I'm fine with chaos. Misfortune, on the other hand, isn't welcome here. Not anymore."

MacCready shut his eyes and felt a shuddering breath rattle through his lungs. For so long MacCready had accepted misfortune and sadness as a constant in his life, a hungry creature that lumbered behind him no matter how hard he tried to escape it. He'd almost lost his own son to it's ravenous jaws. There was no happiness to be found in this wasteland, no reprieve from reality. That's what he'd always thought. When had everything changed? When did concepts like hope and joy worm their way into his miserable life? MacCready knew the answer, of course, and it was beside him holding tight to his waist, nuzzling his shoulder. The magnitude of MacCready's affection and gratitude was staggering. Sebastian made him feel like they could take on anything together. That special brand of devotion wasn't something you relinquished easily, and MacCready did not intend to let it slip away. Not for anything, not even for that grotesque creature he knew was just out of sight, stalled but not gone, licking its lips in wait.

MacCready grinned and let out a soft sigh. "Only good times ahead." he promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're curious what my Duncan looks like, there's a doodle of him here: [[x]](http://musapan.deviantart.com/art/Fallout-Dad-Stories-639616429)
> 
> Oh my gosh it's done! Thank you to everyone who read this to the end, and all the kind readers who have given me support along the way. :)
> 
> I'm sorry about how long it took me to post the last chapter! I've had the whole dang thing written for MONTHS now, I just procrastinated editing it T__T I honestly should have just posted it months ago lol
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much for reading! o((◕ฺ∀ ◕✿ฺ))o Please leave a comment if you enjoyed!


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